Right now, I am in a relationship with J. He’s smart and beautiful, and most of the time, he is sweet and attentive.
J has known that he is submissive for nine or ten years. I’ve only realized that I’m dominant since I met him. Looking back, I can certainly see signs throughout most of my relationships, but I’ve never felt the urge to dominate anyone before him.
It’s been an interesting journey, as he’s an experienced submissive and I’m just realizing that I deeply enjoy dominance. I enjoy hurting him, teasing him, and petting him, and I love being worshiped and obeyed. It hasn’t been easy–relationships rarely are. This one is far more complicated because we can’t see each other as often as we’d like and because I have no idea what I’m doing. I may not know what I’m doing, but I know what I like.
Early on, when I was still reading everything I could get my hands on about BDSM, J described me as being like a fifteen year old with a learner’s permit and a Ferrari. I’m still not entirely sure whether I should be flattered or offended.