Jul 152014
all the sex things

Dammit. I feel like we’re just hitting our stride in the bedroom. We’ve been fucking for over three years, but because we’re in a driving distance relationship, we haven’t had the opportunity to fuck as often as other couples. While some relationships hit the ‘boring sex rut’ around this time, we’re just now getting good at fucking. It was always good (we always had the chemistry), but now it’s mind-blowingly good… all the time. pinball brain on hiatus In part, it’s because I’m way less in my head than I’ve ever been. J’s leaving, so I don’t have the time … [read more]

Jul 072014
angry emo butt sex

I’ve been feeling insecure and anxious. My relationship is strong, but not secure, and changes are coming soon. The disquiet comes courtesy of a goodbye that’s lasted months, and persistent uncertainty about exactly when he’ll leave (we still don’t know). We try to keep it light, but the consequence of falling sand is that it grows heavier as it piles up — the weight is becoming difficult to handle. Even under normal circumstances, my default is high strung, wound tight, with a tangle of thoughts in my head. But despite all of that — the anxiety, uncertainty, and sadness — … [read more]

Feb 232013
everyday D/s

The weather here is lovely in February — it’s in the mid 70’s during the day and it’s nearly always sunny. It’s perfect weather for one of my favorite weekend rituals — a lazy morning in bed, followed by a late breakfast on the water and a trip to the farmers’ market to pick up fresh fruits and vegetables for the rest of our weekend meals. The farmers’ market is about a mile from the beach where the breeze is stronger and the sun shines brighter. Tables are piled high with brightly colored fruits and vegetables and people sell fresh … [read more]

Jul 192012
I own you (love, romance, and D/s)

Over on Submissive in Seattle, Peroxide explained how he saw aspects of BDSM as not simply sexual, but romantic, beautiful, and loving. In particular, he discussed how he saw the potential for expressing love and romance through a D/s dynamic: …it can be expressed and reinforced in words, and tones and gestures. In the same way lover’s can express their love for each other, I see the potential for dominants and submissives to express their dynamic, and I see those expressions as being romantic.” He went on to say that the ownership dynamic makes him swoon, in part because “it … [read more]

Jul 122012

While it wasn’t all that clear, I did my best to explain why “soft limits” isn’t a very useful concept to me (in the context of a longer-term, mongamish, D/s relationship). I think Tomio said it best in his comments: “…adding a modifier to the idea of “limits” is a bad idea. Either it’s a limit, or it isn’t. Just its usage implies that limits are not meant to be limiting – it erodes the meaning of limit.” [emphasis added] In my line of thinking, my partner has limits, and then there’s everything else. “Everything else” includes anything and everything … [read more]