aftercare, n.: Support, attention, or care administered at the conclusion of BDSM activities; often includes chocolate milk, fruit snacks, and fingerpainting.
“After seeing my submissive’s ass after the caning scene, I realized the box of SpongeBob band-aids I brought for aftercare wasn’t going to be enough.”
“When boy started screaming his safeword, I realized my attempt at aftercare was a miserable failure. Who knew rubbing alcohol could sting so much?”… [read more]
If my asshole could talk, it would thank you for the kind attention it’s received over the past few weeks. After recounting my depilation tribulation, I received a lot of advice… and some of it was actually good. Some of it was not. In particular, the suggestion that I should take an epilator to my asshole was misguided (at best). My hunch is readers who made the suggestion either actively hate me, or they haven’t actually attempted the method of follicular obliteration they endorsed. I used an epilator on my pussy once and almost lost my labia. I do not … [read more]
The title is misleading. I have no fucking idea how you’re supposed to shave your own asshole… but I tried. Spoiler Alert: I failed. Wait, what? What’s that you say? Ummm… why do you want to shave your asshole, D? Are you conforming to the unrealistic beauty standards propagated by popular media and pornography? Are you buying into aesthetic standards that make women subject to the unattainable ideals of the misogynistic patriarchy? Are you seriously attempting to conform beauty standards…. for your ASSHOLE? Yes. I am. Also, fuck you. I wanted to shave my asshole. Deal with it. Asshole … [read more]
While I was out of town, J and I had a pretty heated email exchange (e-fight!). We went round about the same old issues, but nothing got resolved. While we were both angry, we decided to put the discussion (argument) on hold until I got back home and we could talk in person. I did tell him that I’ve been working something that might help — it’s a new system to clarify my expectations of him in a few different areas. It’s not finished yet, but here’s a preview: it has guidelines, examples, quotas, and an “alert system,” all built … [read more]
I’m out of town and out of my element. Work has me on a multi-city tour that spans two coasts and a few points in between. In my absence, I’ll leave you with some travel tips I learned during this first leg of my journey. Do pack a vibrator. Otherwise, you’ll find yourself making bedroom eyes at your electric toothbrush. Do check TSA guidelines before you pack. TSA allows liquid medications in excess of 3.4 oz, but unfortunately, vodka isn’t considered medication. Do not order sushi at an airport restaurant in a landlocked state. Do not politely offer to assist … [read more]