I break shoes

hit (on) me while I’m down?

Jun 092013

I’ve had two ‘suitors’ during my life on the web — boys who read the blog and were smitten with me (or my writing) enough to want to know more. They charmed me with their compliments, wit, and humor, and they’re both smart, interesting, and persistent enough to have sustained my interest. Both boys were forthcoming about wanting to meet me to see if something developed — they were (are) interested in the possibility of a romantic or sexual relationship. At the same time, they acknowledge I’m in a relationship and they’ve been respectful of that. Both boys wanted to … [read more]

Ask-A-Domme: dumb questions, discipline, and sadism for its own sake

advice, fail, questions & answers

May 172013

Ask-A-Domme: dumb questions, discipline, and sadism for its own sake

}You’ve got Qs? I’ve got As… but I make no claims about the quality of either. Q: Maid outfit for male restrictive heel locking for oversize male who wants to serve 48 waist and 13 size shoes? where can you buy these? What the fuck am I, Google? Here, let me help you with that. Q: tit or pussy rub Oh… you thought the contact form was a search box, didn’t you? Bless your stupid heart. Q: I have a problem my submissive is also my fiance and our relationship was began under the understanding that we had matching kinks … [read more]

up(date) my ass

fail, funny

May 082013

If my asshole could talk, it would thank you for the kind attention it’s received over the past few weeks. After recounting my depilation tribulation, I received a lot of advice… and some of it was actually good. Some of it was not. In particular, the suggestion that I should take an epilator to my asshole was misguided (at best). My hunch is readers who made the suggestion either actively hate me, or they haven’t actually attempted the method of follicular obliteration they endorsed. I used an epilator on my pussy once and almost lost my labia. I do not … [read more]

how to shave your asshole

fail, funny

Apr 182013

The title is misleading. I have no fucking idea how you’re supposed to shave your own asshole… but I tried. Spoiler Alert: I failed. Wait, what? What’s that you say? Ummm… why do you want to shave your asshole, D? Are you conforming to the unrealistic beauty standards propagated by popular media and pornography? Are you buying into aesthetic standards that make women subject to the unattainable ideals of the misogynistic patriarchy? Are you seriously attempting to conform beauty standards…. for your ASSHOLE? Yes. I am. Also, fuck you. I wanted to shave my asshole. Deal with it. Asshole … [read more]

I break shoes

fail

Apr 162013

I’ve said it before: The broken heel image in my header is perfect. I break a lot of shoes. If you’ll excuse me, I have a meeting to attend… in my socks.

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