unfortunate personal grooming

Dumb Domme’s Travel Tips

Mar 172013

I’m out of town and out of my element. Work has me on a multi-city tour that spans two coasts and a few points in between. In my absence, I’ll leave you with some travel tips I learned during this first leg of my journey. Do pack a vibrator. Otherwise, you’ll find yourself making bedroom eyes at your electric toothbrush. Do check TSA guidelines before you pack. TSA allows liquid medications in excess of 3.4 oz, but unfortunately, vodka isn’t considered medication. Do not order sushi at an airport restaurant in a landlocked state. Do not politely offer to assist … [read more]

dumb things I’ve said, 6

dumb, random

Feb 062013

In honor of the stealth ninja flu that has me fevered and damn-near delirious, a collection of stupid things I’ve said over the past few months that only sound like they were uttered in the midst of a fever-induced delirium. If you’ll excuse me, I have to get back to freezing, sweating, and shaking. Fuck the flu! No. I don’t want to fill out your tech support customer satisfaction survey because “fuck your mother” isn’t one of the multiple choice options. Gay, Bi, or Straight? Fuck no! I’m a ninja! It’s a lot of trial, error, and flinging bananas. The … [read more]

domestic advice

dumb, random

Nov 202012

My mother isn’t domestic and she’s never been much of a cook. But this year, for the first time in her adult life, she’s hosting a Thanksgiving dinner for her boyfriend and his family. I’ve been emailing her my recipes and fielding her questions when she finds herself overwhelmed by the number of choices in the grocery store. I’m not sure she’s been in a proper grocery store in years. Anyway, tonight she called with some question about turkey roasting times… and then this happened: Mother: How do I know when the turkey is done? Does the pop up timer … [read more]

Ask-a-Domme: paddles, piercings, punishments

advice, BDSM, dumb, funny, questions & answers

Oct 212012

Ask-a-Domme: paddles, piercings, punishments

A round-up of a few reader Qs and corresponding As. Q: “Do you answer peoples questions here?” A. Of course not! That would be silly. Q: “cane, switch, or paddle?” A. Pepper spray. Q: “Where are your piercings?” A: Through the skin, mostly. Q: “Did you meet up with the girl sub again?” A: Yes. Q: “jealous” A: Often. Q: “if Im nauty will you punish me?“ A: Are you asking if I’ll punish you for things like incorrect spelling? Of course I will… as long as ignoring you counts as a punishment. Q: “Is it ok for a Female … [read more]

unfortunate personal grooming

dumb, fail, funny

Aug 042012

I had an unexpected opportunity to see the boy. It was short notice and I had to make a quick decision. Shave now or wax later?

I whipped off my pants to take a look at what I was working with. As I suspected, my pubic area looked like a clump of hair that I’d be more comfortable seeing in shower drain than between my legs. I’d have to shave, or trim, or both. Unfortunately, I couldn’t find the clippers and there’s no fucking way I’m going at my crotch with a pair of scissors. … [read more]

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