what does dominance feel like?

my ignorance: submission = weakness

about me, BDSM, D/s, my boy, relationship crap

May 022013

When I saw J for the first time, my attraction was immediate. He was tall, athletic, and clean cut, with killer blue eyes and an air of self-confidence. He dressed well, and his crisp button down shirt hinted at a fantastic build underneath. Later on that day, when he unbuttoned his shirt cuffs and rolled up his sleeves, the ink on his forearms suggested perhaps he wasn’t quite as clean cut as he first appeared. The entire day, I couldn’t keep myself from thinking about what he might look like out of his business casual attire — How cut is … [read more]

what does it mean to break a submissive?

BDSM, D/s, nerdgasm, play

Apr 132013

what does it mean to break a submissive?

I admitted I’m not sure what it means to “break” a submissive — my ignorance is equal parts inexperience and lexical ambiguity. While my inexperience (and sometimes-ignorance) is well-documented here, the ambiguity isn’t my fault. “Breaking” is figurative, not literal. It’s a metaphor (or hyperbole, idiom, symbolism, synecdoche, or some messy combination). The intended meaning is dependent on the speaker and the received meaning is dependent on the audience. For that reason, the ambiguity isn’t surprising — the range of interpretations is wide, and includes everything from inconsequential, isolated “breaking” to severe, irreparable “breaking” (and all points in between). On … [read more]

the morning after: sweet, indulgent, and deeply satisfying

BDSM, my boy, orgasm project, play

Apr 062013

the morning after: sweet, indulgent, and deeply satisfying

As I made breakfast this morning, I realized what I was making was oddly representative of sex and play the night before. Thinking back, what I prepare is often (and unintentionally) symbolic of my physical and emotional satisfaction (or frustration), the types of play we engaged in, and my attitude about all of it. This morning, I made vanilla bean waffles with strawberries and fresh whipped cream. Last night’s activities were anything but “vanilla,” but they were incredibly sweet, familiar, and comforting, while at the same time, indulgent and deeply satisfying. Apparently, breakfast is symbolic.

how to pill your pet

BDSM, D/s, play

Mar 082013

Administering oral medications can be a stressful experience for both pet and owner. Fortunately, there are simple steps you can take to make the medicine go down. With practice, you’ll gain confidence and your pet will become used to the procedure. Method 1: Command your pet to sit or kneel in front of you. Support your pet’s head with your dominant hand. With your non-dominant hand, follow the jawline to the highest point (right below the ear) until you find the hollow spot just before the skull. Applying pressure here will cause your pet some discomfort, but will enable you … [read more]

what does dominance feel like?

BDSM, D/s, my boy, play, relationship crap

Mar 042013

It’s not any one specific act. It’s not a singular expression of dominance, nor the receipt of a particular act of submission. It’s not just a feeling–it’s more than confidence, dominance, or control. It’s more than love, or want, or possession. It’s not a way of thinking, but of being. It’s an embodiment that blocks out all other thoughts and feelings. It’s a state more than the sum of its component parts. It’s the taste of copper on my tongue. It’s the memory of the first time I broke his skin and realized I wasn’t playing anymore. It’s the memory … [read more]

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