May 312015
you fucked up: how to apologize (and mean it)

J and I had problems with apologies. I wrote an entire paper on on “submissive sorry” (it’s been submitted to the Journal of Submissive Studies; I’m still waiting for the double-blindfold peer review reports). That was observation, but this is advice for everyone. Okay, maybe not everyone — maybe just anyone who finds themselves in a situation where they need to apologize to me.  Apologize and Acknowledge Apologize for your fuck up, but also, acknowledge whatever inconvenience, annoyance, hurt, or anger your fuck up caused. Apologize for that too. Be Empathetic (It’s Not About You) Sure, you feel bad (for … [read more]

May 142015
Q/A: vampire gloves, dumb ideas, and sub tests

Reader questions on vampire gloves, dumb ideas, and foolproof indicators of submissiveness. I’m looking for spikes as used on the gloves you mentioned. Would you help me to find out, where I can buy such spikes and how they are named? Kindest regards from Austria. Hello Austria. What an interesting name! (heh) If you’re looking for the gloves with spikes, they’re called ‘vampire gloves,’ ‘vampire mitts,’ or ‘spanking gloves.’ If you’re just looking for the spikes, my hunch is that they come already attached to some sort of fabric. I’d recommend contacting Mistress Serene over at Love Bite Gloves. She … [read more]

May 082015
sub before domme? vanilla before kink?

Today’s question is from Novice Noemi (of Tyro Town, TN) Hi D!, I was so happy to find a blog that was about the joy of Domination and occasional slip ups, instead of just the craving of another person’s pain. But I’m still a little stuck and terrified of what I want. I am 21 years old and I have never been in a relationship, but the idea of a normal relationship just never seemed like… enough to me. Recently, trolling the internet, I stumbled onto BDSM. I keep searching but most (if not almost all) of the information on … [read more]

Mar 032015
Whiplr: the app for kinky fuckery

Whiplr: Kinky Tinder (kinda) . There’s a new app called “Whiplr.” According to developers, Whiplr is “The world’s first and only location-based messaging app to help you connect with people who share your interests in kinks, either online or in person.” Think Tinder for for kinky people… kinda. At least I think that’s the intention. Like Tinder, Whiplr is a messaging app with GPS and location services that will help you find people in your area to fuck. But with Whiplr, not only can you find people who want to fuck, but also, you can find people who want to … [read more]

Jan 022015
experiment in stealth submission: can it turn a wife into a domme?

Today’s question is from Stealth Submissive Stanley (from Covert City, CA) Hello, I’m a neophyte at this, and so am seeking the counsel of a dominant woman. I’m interested in getting my wife to embrace the dominant role in our relationship. The complication is that she is very conservative, and the idea of dominating me would never enter her mind. I am going to try an experiment for the next 9 weeks or so, and would greatly like some input on how to nuance this process. My thought is to begin pampering her, being extra attentive, but within limits. That … [read more]