I’m a professional in my early thirties in the sunny subtropics, close enough to the city and the seashore to keep me happy, entertained, and inspired.
I’ve led past lives as a wunderkind, a classically trained mezzo soprano, a ninja, a statistician, and as a freelance graphic artist. I made my way through school on hard work, passion, desperation, and on pawning off more engagement rings than I care to admit. At the moment, I have an exciting career — I’m living on knife’s edge between up-and-coming industry expert and complete-and-total failure.
I’ve been dating my boy, J, for two and a half years. He’s an experienced submissive, but I’m still new to D/s and BDSM. I’ve always known I was a little kinky, but I’m still figuring out what it means to be a dominant partner in a relationship.
Oh, and a little secret… J doesn’t know about this blog. Correction: my boy found out about the blog. Yep. That happened. :)
Besides all of that, we’re in a relationship with an expiration date. Since the very beginning of our relationship, I’ve known that J was looking for job opportunities on the west coast. At some point, that opportunity will present itself, and he’ll leave. I won’t move with him and he won’t stay. We’ve always known we’re on borrowed time, and perhaps, that makes our time together all the more valuable.
Why “Dumb Domme”?:
In hindsight, calling myself “Dumb Domme” was a
bad idea dumb idea… so maybe it fits. I’m over-educated, but I still do stupid shit.
When I first started reading about all things kinky, I found lots of the dominants in my local scene absolutely laughable for their over-the-top rhetoric, lists of ridiculous demands, indifference toward their subs, and general bad-attitudes (see my response to one Domme’s unsolicited advice). “Dumb Domme” was my attempt to distance myself from them and my acknowledgement that I have a lot to learn.
Besides that, “Dumb Domme” is pretty funny (especially compared to names like Miss Svetlana Painforfun, Mystryss Evyl, and Domme Dastardly). I admit I make lots of mistakes, but I’m adept at finding the humor in situations (particularly in my own).
- I’m 5’5″, with dark hair and green eyes. I think I’m pretty and I know I’m very vain.
- I love beautiful words, especially when they’re written for me, at me, or about me.
- I like avocados, parenthetical elements, breaking the fourth wall, the Oxford comma, and red nail polish.
- I dislike Shepard Fairey, raisins, asymmetry, D/s cApItaLiZatIoN, and accidentally running into spiderwebs on my evening jogs.
- My hard limits include furries, My Little Pony play, Steely Dan, curly quotes (in CSS), and novelty kitchen items (unitaskers).
- I buy Cuban coffee from a guy named Miguel who roasts at his house and sells the beans in unmarked brown paper bags from behind the counter at the bodega. I don’t think it’s a legit operation, but it’s good shit.
- I have a cat named “Asshole.” I agreed to pet-sit for an acquaintance a couple of months ago and she never came back for it.
- I don’t like cats.
about me: My experiences and thoughts, selfish musings, and mundane life experiences. Probably tells you something about me, although I don’t promise that it will be anything interesting or important.
my boy: About the guy I’m currently dating, J. We fuck. Besides that, I often experience warm fuzzy feelings in his general direction. Other times, I want to throw him down a set of stairs, and on rare occasion, I don’t care one way or the other. The category dear J includes stuff I’ve written to him and stuff I thought about saying, but didn’t.
orgasm project: Where I bitch and whine about my difficulties coming to orgasm with a partner.
lexicon: Where I define and defile BDSM “vocabulary” words.
nerdgasm: Nerdgasmic opulence, luscious geekery, and orgasmic intellectualism, which may or may not include the haphazard application of rhetorical, feminist, critical, and/or cultural theory from the 5th century B.C.E. up until today. I also reserve the right to irresponsibly apply the theories of the future or make up my own.