I’m back. I traveled — by land, by sea, and by air — and now I’m back.
The trip wasn’t awful, but it wasn’t great, either. All things considered, I wish I had stayed home. My foot isn’t any less broken, I have a bunch of work emails to catch up on, and on the whole, I did not enjoy seeing old friends.
My friends suck. Or maybe I suck. Or maybe nobody sucks because we’ve just grown apart and friendships are hard to maintain. To be fair, perhaps I should say friendships are hard to revisit (rekindle?) since there’s been little maintenance.
Most of my oldest friends (from high school and university) fall into one of two categories: 1) the marrieds with kids, or 2) the singles.
The marrieds with kids (or married with dogs, or trying for kids/dogs) are WAY into being married (and/or raising kids) — their lives are ABOUT being married… for better or worse. Marriage and children are either the best-thing-in-the-whole-fucking-world or the worst mistake of their lives.
The marrieds drink a lot… mostly cheap wine and shitty domestic beer.
The singles can be divided into three subcategories: a) the ones who desperately want to be married, b) the ones who are now hatefully divorced, and/or c) a few who haven’t gotten the memo that college is over, we’re not in our twenties anymore, it’s time to grow the fuck up. For the record, subcategory “c” has nothing to do with relationship status or sex partners — it has to do with lack of passion or ambition (for anything — work, love, hobbies, etc).
The singles drink a lot too… but they’re all over the map. They drink everything, including, but not limited to:
- cosmopolitans in unbalanced martini glasses garnished with unnaturally spiraled lemon twists
- two-for-one well drinks, drafts, and happy hour specials
- weird, complicated shots named for body parts, sex acts, and general nonsense, e.g., Buttery Nipple, Blow Job, and Duck Fart.
- layered cocktails of exotic fruit liqueurs delicately dripped over gigantic spherical ice cubes, infused with herbal aroma vapors, garnished with edible flowers
Anyway, I just didn’t enjoy anyone’s company (though I did my best to be good company) or conversations… and that feels weird, or a little disappointing? I don’t know. Maybe it just wasn’t what I expected.
Things change. People change. Relationships change. But thankfully, drinking is forever.