So, my career is ramping up, or ending. Possibly both. I’m not sure.
In the beginning of this blog, I described my career as being on knife’s edge between up and coming industry expert or complete and total failure. That was the case some years before I started here, and it was years in the making before that.
I’ll find out soon which side of the blade I’ll fall on.
I don’t think I’ve ever worked so hard in all my life as I have these past few months. I routinely pull all-nighters like I’m a college kid (I’m not). If the whole career thing doesn’t work out, I’m going to kick myself for not buying stock in eye drops and coffee.
So, I’m feeling reflective, which isn’t much of a deviation from the norm — it’s like status quo to the nth power.
It’s the sort of existential crisis that comes with being on the brink of being what you’re meant to be and what you’ve worked toward… accompanied by the dread that comes with knowing it’s not in your power to decide.
I’ll know soon.
And then I’ll get to keep on doing what I do, or I’ll have to start over. Either way, I’ll move on with my life.
I’m looking forward to it.