Feb 052015

nibsI imagined picking up the pens would be a pleasant distraction — a temporary, meaningless focus in an otherwise cluttered brain. I thought practicing calligraphy would be relaxing.

It isn’t.

I don’t do moderation.

I’m all or nothing, always or never. I am falling or flying.

What used to be my dining room is littered with ink pots, pens, nibs, empty cartridges, parchment, rulers, markers, and pads of paper.

My nails are ruined, and my fingertips are stained black, crimson, and blue. As soon as one stain fades, another takes its place. My hand spasms, my fingers curl.

I can’t just practice for the sake of practice — I struggle with the repetition of strokes and angles. I abandon alphabets midway to scrawl his name, or my name, but never our names together — never on the same page.

I can’t write anything important, so I write nonsense… beautifully. It’s as close as I can get to finishing a thought. I’m left with ink-bruised fingers and page after page of beautiful nothings.


search query of the day: the hopping asshole


  11 Responses to “obsession and ink blots”

  1. Love to massage your sore fingers and hands. love the way hopping asshole calligraphy looks lovely.
    You have it down very nicely

    • Thanks, Sindee. :) I’m still a little rusty, but it’s coming back to me.

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  2. I have no patience for practicing either. Which is likely why I never got the knack of calligraphy. Your handwriting is gorgeous…which makes me long to take it up again. But right now I’m elbows deep in knitting, so…not now. :D

    Interesting search engine term. Some of them are just priceless, aren’t they?



    • I’m elbows deep in knitting, so…not now.

      I pick up a crochet needle every couple of years, but I never tried knitting… someday I’ll figure it out. :)

      Some of them are just priceless, aren’t they?

      priceless… worthless… ridiculous… all that. :)

  3. I am delighted that a fellow sufferer has joined me in Bedlam! Perhaps I should warn you that it doesn’t get better if you add Chinese and Arabic calligraphy into the mix. :p

  4. While I very much understand the falling or flying mentality, I got stuck on “The Hopping Asshole”. It looks like such a beautiful book cover, I’m now completely stuck on what book content that title would actually work for.

    I think I’m flying at the pointlessness.

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