As a person — as a human being who deserves honesty, communication, and respect, particularly from someone who is supposed to love me — I think stealth submission is really awful. It’s not something I’d want a partner to do to me.
Essentially, stealth submission is tricking your wife, girlfriend, or partner into something she might not be into without her knowledge, and it’s forcing her into a dominant role without her consent. It’s dishonest and manipulative.
If that weren’t bad enough (and it should be), stealth submission isn’t actually submissive. If you manipulate your wife into being what you want her to be, then you’re the dominant (an unethical dominant) and she’s just doing what you want her to do. In other words, she’s being submissive to you.
I mean, look at your own language:
Read that again. Seriously. Dude, you’re experimenting on your wife in the hopes of programming her to be what you want her to be… without even asking her what she wants… without even telling her. You already said she’s pretty conservative, so it stands to reason she might not want to be dominant… you already know this, but yet you’re “inculcating” her “psyche” anyway…? (← that right there is manipulation, lack of respect, and some really bad relationship mojo… you get that, right?)
Back to your questions.
Is stealth submission likely to be successful? Maybe. Or maybe, but only for a little while. Or maybe not.
Is stealth submission likely to end in frustration and abject failure? Perhaps. It may end with your frustration. But the risk is that it may end much worse than that — with her feeling manipulated, controlled, and deceived by the person she loves (and the person who is supposed to love her). Stealth submission could end in a lot of mistrust and hurt feelings.
So what’s the alternative to stealth submission?
Talk to her.
I know honesty is vulnerable and comes with its own set of risks. She might refuse to hear you out or she might shut you down completely. Worse than that, she might look down on you for your desires. But you have to do it — take the risk and find a way to talk to her.
By talking to her openly and honestly, you’ll be respecting her as a person — a person with her own wants, needs, and her own autonomy and right to consent.
That’s how a good D/s relationship — or any good relationship — works. Both partners should trust each other enough to communicate openly and honestly, and both partners should love each other enough to care that the others needs are met.
Best to you,