Jan 082015

Hey there happy couple!

Congratulations on your upcoming wedding (or commitment ceremony, hand fasting, collaring, broom jumping, plate smashing, basket weaving and/or other symbolic ritual to celebrate your love).

Of course I’ll be there!

I like weddings — I’ve even married people (as an officiant, not as the condemned betrothed…). While I’m not looking to get married, I’m happy for you and honored to be there when you get married.

I mean, who doesn’t enjoy celebrating love, being with friends, and an open bar? (you’ll have an open bar… right?)

Get married under a chuppah, over a broom, before an altar, after Lemuralia, inside a church, outside on the beach…

I’ll be there, wishing you all the love and happiness in the world.

Wait… what?

Your wedding is on a Sunday night… a SUNDAY night?


Sunday night. Well then…

I hope you break up.

And then I hope you both die in a fire.

  3 Responses to “I wish you love… and death by fire”

  1. sooooooooooo ummmmm is Tuesday okay? lol


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