While at a work event this afternoon, I received an automated text alert: “Your packages have been delivered.”
Package? Packages… (plural)? I wasn’t expecting any packages — it’s after the holidays and my birthday is months away.
I don’t have that email address (the one I use for junk) set up for mobile, and I can’t check Amazon orders from my phone (I need to confirm my password… which is on my computer). But because I never clear the browser cache, I can see the items I’ve viewed.
Fountain pens… yes! I remembered looking at fountain pens. But also, apparently, I looked at a bunch of leather dresses… really expensive leather dresses. And sex toys. A lot of sex toys. And wah pedals. And outdoor fire pits…?
I felt nauseous. What the fuck did I buy? I know I can return stuff, but WTF was I going to type in the box? “Reason for return: I’m a fucking idiot who had WAY too much to drink”
When I got home, I was relieved to see the packages were small. I tore them open and laughed at myself.
Drunk me is pretty much like sober me. My drunken impulse buys included calligraphy pens (in four different nib sizes… four!), ink cartridges, a book, and eyeliner.
See what happens when I lower my inhibitions? I’m a wild woman… completely unpredictable. :)