Dec 062014

Reader questions on good manners, dominant women and PIV sex, and D/s as dinner.

my name is notDo you think its good to answer all women with yes ma’am and no ma’am instead of just yea/yes? Thanks.

No. But you should always use good manners and be polite (to everyone). What form politeness takes should be governed by the situation and the person with whom you are speaking.

Before you succeeded at orgasm, was your control over J’s body a serviceable substitute for a place you couldn’t reach? What I’ve seen may be more anecdotal than I know; dommes claiming that PIV doesn’t do much, and neither does oral. Strapons have likewise been claimed unsatisfactory. This seems to echo your orgasm project prior to your breakthrough.

I get that I write about really personal stuff on the internet, but still, this question feels invasive. I haven’t talked about the orgasm project lately, and you haven’t provided any context for the question… and I’m not even sure I understand it (it is literal? or metaphorical?). Anyway, I’m not going to answer it…

Oh… oh god… oh god…

I just came.

Saying “no” turns me on. Sorry… what was the question?

Um, anyway… lots of women have trouble achieving orgasm (particularly with a partner). While individual women have individual experiences, generally, whether a woman identifies as dominant or submissive makes no difference.

The way you write and seem to genuinely enjoy crafting the narrative of your D/s exploits is a solid mosaic. The trials and tribulations of your relationship and it’s failings is very human; something the internet has never been terribly good at.
tapas-platesThere’s a question among the complements, of course.
As someone who has aspired and achieved success in career, intimacy, and publicity to varying degrees; would you say the D/s element of your life is akin to dessert-like delight, or closer to the main course? (casual players call it spice and cooking tends to be a creative outlet) Thanks for representing.

Thank you for the kind words! While I have achieved success in a variety of arenas, metaphors isn’t one of them. :)

I’ll give it a shot though… failure is part of my charm, right?

I don’t like the “main course” idea because it implies that if you don’t have it, you’re waiting for it… and that you’re hungry for it (as if there’s something missing). I’m not sure I like “dessert” either, because it feels like something extra, but less important than the main course.

I guess I’d like to think of life as tapas — small dishes of this or that. Tapas isn’t any particular course or flavor, but a style of service and dining. According to Wikipedia, the most respected source on things I’m not so sure about,

“In Spain, patrons of tapas can order many different tapas and combine them to make a full meal. [. . .] The serving of tapas is designed to encourage conversation, because people are not so focused upon eating an entire meal that is set before them.”

You can enjoy each tapas dish by itself, or enjoy the way they complement each other. And, since everything is roughly the same size and same value, you can focus on enjoying what’s in front of you at the moment (and you should, because sometimes the service is awful and it takes forever for the next one to arrive).

And also, tapas was meant to be enjoyed with drinks… and I like drinks.

Actually, fuck tapas. I’ll just take the drinks.

  4 Responses to “manners, metaphors, and main courses”

  1. I tickled myself reading this one. I had no idea what “PIV” was … thought maybe I was missing out on something.


    • I had no idea what “PIV” was … thought maybe I was missing out on something.

      You aren’t the only one. The first few times I read it, I just assumed PIV was some sexually transmitted infection. Only after I read it a few times (Gee, people are so causal about it!) that I finally looked it up. :)

  2. I love the analogy! Tapas, what a great response!

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