Nov 032014
 

Today’s Reader Question comes from Sparky of Amperage, AK.

Ohm man, watt a shocking question! I expect my response might generate some static, but if you’ve got a short fuse, don’t get all amped up — just try to stay grounded, okay?

I’ve had a little BDSM experience…
Where can I find extreme electrocution and not pay for it?

9V-tongue

You’re in luck, my electrically, financially, and intellectually deficient friend! DIY erotic electrostimulation can be cheap, easy, and dangerous. All you need is some creativity, unreasonable expectations, and general disregard for your own health and safety.

You could try licking a 9V battery. It should give you a bit of a tingle… But you’re looking for eXtREmE ELecTROcuTioN, so a battery isn’t going to cut it. You’re so hardcore!

warning-electrocutionYou should look up “electrocution” before you do anything else… unless you’ve got a death wish. While having a death wish and being dumb/horny aren’t mutually exclusive, they are two different things. What you’re probably looking for is “erotic electrostimulation” (or e-stim, or electrosex… you should probably look that up too).

I have absolutely NO knowledge of volts, amps, or electricity-related things… but fuck it! You asked a (dumb) question and I’m going to give you a (dumb) answer. Let’s get to that, shall we?

Science Goes Here

fork-outlet-new

It really depends on what sort of sensation (injury) you’re after. According to SCIENCE, various levels of current have various effects the human body. Sticking a metal fork into a 120V electrical outlet will give you from 10 – 20 mA, which is enough to cause some involuntary muscle contractions.

Surprisingly, 10 – 20 mA is also the “let-go threshold,” beyond which can cause prolonged involuntary muscle contractions, which means the muscles in your hand might lock up, you’ll be unable to let go of the fork, and eventually, the sustained current could cause ventricular fibrillation (a serious “oopsie” to the heart, a.k.a. cardiac arrest, a.k.a. heart attack).

milliampere (mA) probable effect on the body
 1 – 5 mA tingling sensation
 5 – 10 mA pain
10 – 20 mA involuntary muscle contractions
20 – 100 mA paralysis, heart stoppage

If All Else Fails…

In general, I don’t advocate involving others in your kink without their consent, but if nothing else works for you, you’re going to have to get tased. There is some evidence to suggest that saying “Don’t tase me, bro!” to law enforcement officers will result in an immediate (and unwarranted) tasing.

dont-tase-me-bro

Seriously? Seriously.

Don’t do any of that. Instead, do some research, buy some safe equipment, or hire an experienced professional… you cheap dumb bastard.

LEGAL PRINT: Dumb Domme™ LLC, WTF, & LOL, and associates are not liable for material or virtual damages, nor any physical, mental, or emotional injury incurred from your stupidity. As much as I support natural selection, please don’t electrocute yourself. It’s a joke, dumbass.
IGNORANCE DISCLAIMER: I don’t fucking know megawatts, kilojoules, wattavolts, or milliamperes. Feel free to let me know about any inaccurate information — contact the Department of Corrections by clicking the X in your browser tab.

Composite #1: 9 Volt Battery & Tongue
“Batterie 9 Volt” from Marion County Oregon: Battery Recycling, (2010). U.S. Government Work; no copyright restrictions.
Composite #2: Metal Fork & Outlet
Composite #3: Man Pictograms & Taser
“Toilets, Unisex” (Pictogram). Image from the AIGA symbol signs collection. All images in the collection are public domain.

  One Response to “DIY erotic electrostimulation (e-stim)”

  1. Bahahaha! Love it!

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