Today’s Reader Question comes from Sparky of Amperage, AK.
Ohm man, watt a shocking question! I expect my response might generate some static, but if you’ve got a short fuse, don’t get all amped up — just try to stay grounded, okay?
Where can I find extreme electrocution and not pay for it?
You’re in luck, my electrically, financially, and intellectually deficient friend! DIY erotic electrostimulation can be cheap, easy, and dangerous. All you need is some creativity, unreasonable expectations, and general disregard for your own health and safety.
You could try licking a 9V battery. It should give you a bit of a tingle… But you’re looking for eXtREmE ELecTROcuTioN, so a battery isn’t going to cut it. You’re so hardcore!
I have absolutely NO knowledge of volts, amps, or electricity-related things… but fuck it! You asked a (dumb) question and I’m going to give you a (dumb) answer. Let’s get to that, shall we?
Science Goes Here
It really depends on what sort of sensation (injury) you’re after. According to SCIENCE, various levels of current have various effects the human body. Sticking a metal fork into a 120V electrical outlet will give you from 10 – 20 mA, which is enough to cause some involuntary muscle contractions.
Surprisingly, 10 – 20 mA is also the “let-go threshold,” beyond which can cause prolonged involuntary muscle contractions, which means the muscles in your hand might lock up, you’ll be unable to let go of the fork, and eventually, the sustained current could cause ventricular fibrillation (a serious “oopsie” to the heart, a.k.a. cardiac arrest, a.k.a. heart attack).
|milliampere (mA)||probable effect on the body|
|1 – 5 mA||tingling sensation|
|5 – 10 mA||pain|
|10 – 20 mA||involuntary muscle contractions|
|20 – 100 mA||paralysis, heart stoppage|
If All Else Fails…
In general, I don’t advocate involving others in your kink without their consent, but if nothing else works for you, you’re going to have to get tased. There is some evidence to suggest that saying “Don’t tase me, bro!” to law enforcement officers will result in an immediate (and unwarranted) tasing.
Don’t do any of that. Instead, do some research, buy some safe equipment, or hire an experienced professional… you cheap dumb bastard.