Sep 202014

Reader Questions: Squeaky Sneezes and Monkey Buttsex

Today’s reader questions are fucking ridiculous… and I love them.

mouse next to box of tissues

Any advice for rats with mycoplasma?

Teeny tiny tissues for all the squeaky sneezes.

Or maybe an owl.

Are you hungry?

I’m sorry… I think you have me confused with a mere mortal. I can go long stretches without food, sleep, or human contact. I’m superhuman… or a camel.

What makes a person rich?

Money. Passion… and the opportunity to act on it. Passion for work, for life, for another person, music, exercise, books… whatever keeps your brain humming and your heart happy.

Also, money.

What does true friendship mean to you??

A true friend not only helps you bury the body, but also helps you do whatever needs doing that results in the need to bury it.

Tamarin monkeys with caption. Monkey 1: Prepare for buttsex!! Monkey 2: Wait... what? (Quelle horror!!)

What does it mean when a tamarin approaches from the rear and encircles another tamarin’s waist with both arms?

I’m not acquainted with tamarins, but I do have some experience with tamarinds.

If your tamarinds are exhibiting animal behaviors, I strongly suggest you cut down the tree immediately and burn some sage or something to get rid of whatever dark magic worked to make that happen.

As for tamarins, I can only assume it’s either a monkey Heimlich maneuver or monkey-style buttsex.

composite based on “Мышь” (Mouse) by George Shuklin. Work licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 1.0 Generic (CC BY-SA 1.0).

  4 Responses to “squeaky sneezes and monkey buttsex.”

  1. A true friend will also never crack under questioning and rat you out in the unlikely event being interrogated by law enforcement officials. This is especially important when there is a distinct possibility of long term incarceration… Or so I’ve heard.

  2. If your tamarind exhibits animal behaviour, you need to skip the sage and go directly to a santero to purify everything before you move where trees aren’t animals.

  3. Ive, Had a little BDSM experience where can I find, Extreme. Electrocution.etc and not pay for it?

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