Sep 152014

In all of my adult life, I’ve never taken a vacation. I don’t have much desire to travel and little need to ‘get away’ — it’s not for lack of time, ability, or funds, but because I’m happy where I am.

The only break I’ve ever wanted is from myself, and since that’s not possible, I’ve done my best to construct a life I enjoy inhabiting.

airplaneI’m good at what I do, and most of the time, I find it deeply satisfying. I’ve reached the point where I’m comfortable enough in my own skin (despite its flaws) and I’ve learned how to live within the confines of my own head (despite its activity and disorder).

I live a stone’s throw from the beach and the city, on the thin margin between that’s home to a vibrant arts scene, amazing café con leche, and so many fresh starts and bitter endings that make for creativity, good music, and great conversation.

I love my life — what it is, where it is, and (mostly) who I am within it.


But lately I’ve been dreaming about leaving here and taking him with me.

I’ve been shopping for flights I’ll never take, assessing amenities of lodgings where I’ll never stay, and day dreaming of cities I’ll never see.

What would he have done if I made the arrangements and told him to get in the car? What would he have done if I drove us to the airport and told him to get our bags from the trunk? What would he have done I took his hand and asked him to get on the plane with me?

What would I have done if he refused?


Leaving Town
Dexter Freebish

Oh your reputation’s so golden
You’re never lonely and you’re never home
I know you’ve been talking about leaving
You’ve lost all your feeling for this town

Paint your nails and put on your lipstick
You don’t wanna miss your ticket out
Just because you graduate from school
So high in the gene pool, that’s your point of view

But when you’re broken down
And no one else is around
You’ll come running back to this town
And I’ll be there, yeah, I’ll be there

‘Cause I remember how we drank time together
And how you used to say that the stars are forever
And daydreamed about how to make your life better
By leaving town, leaving town

Pack your bags, your smokes in your pocket
You’re wearing my locket around your neck
Take a drag and wait for the greyhound
The world is your playground and you wanna win


image based on “airplane-309386” by Nemo. Work has been placed in the Public Domain under Creative Commons CC0 1.0 Universal Public Domain Dedication (CC0 1.0).

  5 Responses to “daydream: leaving town”

  1. Hello,

    for me it’s nearly the same. In my young years I was travelling Europe by motorcycle. Now I live in a nice small town, where I can get everywhere without car. Since I had my coming out as a tranny, the adventures happen when I am dressed up and I go out. When I must make a short trip for my company and I am in a hotel room, I always think “my bed at home is better. The mirror in the bathroom mostly too.

    So there is no need for me to get get stuffed into an (Ryanair) plane, have traffic jam on the road and mostly to get all the things with me I need and back at home to put everything back to its place again.

    Maybe, when I will have a relationship, he/she will force me to do this what I don’t like. “Cutie, we have not been to Paris together!” As I am sub, I would do my best.



  2. I have a friend who is perfectly happy with where he lives and his life style – but he says he cant escape the feeling that round the next bend or over the next hill there’s a party going on.
    So he goes in search of it. And his search takes him to foreign parts where he often has a great time ,but (as with any party)he is happy to go home having had the experience ,met different folk ,been intoxicated,seen the sights ,felt the heat, but ready to relax back into familiar surroundings — till the feeling hits him again.

  3. The what-ifs are what keep me up at night.
    Such insightful inner workings to you. Maybe the two of you should go on a trip, before he moves. But perhaps him having knowledge of the trip to plan accordingly will ensure you guys take it.

  4. Ugghhh.. I want to move to your town!

    For me, I’ve had one brief moment in my life where I got to live where I wanted to live…and yeah, it was hard to get me to want to leave. For me, travel is a way to escape the stupid people around me! That and to go visit friends and family.

  5. Hello D,

    “it’s not for lack of time, ability, or funds, but because I’m happy where I am.”

    I wish this was the case for me! I am only staying where I am for now because of my daughter. Once she is grown I plan on pointing my car and seeing where I end up at. I want to travel so much but just don’t have the funds right now.

    “What would I have done if he refused?”

    He would be crazy to refuse to go around the world with a beautiful and funny lady.


 Leave a Reply