In all of my adult life, I’ve never taken a vacation. I don’t have much desire to travel and little need to ‘get away’ — it’s not for lack of time, ability, or funds, but because I’m happy where I am.
The only break I’ve ever wanted is from myself, and since that’s not possible, I’ve done my best to construct a life I enjoy inhabiting.
I’m good at what I do, and most of the time, I find it deeply satisfying. I’ve reached the point where I’m comfortable enough in my own skin (despite its flaws) and I’ve learned how to live within the confines of my own head (despite its activity and disorder).
I live a stone’s throw from the beach and the city, on the thin margin between that’s home to a vibrant arts scene, amazing café con leche, and so many fresh starts and bitter endings that make for creativity, good music, and great conversation.
I love my life — what it is, where it is, and (mostly) who I am within it.
But lately I’ve been dreaming about leaving here and taking him with me.
I’ve been shopping for flights I’ll never take, assessing amenities of lodgings where I’ll never stay, and day dreaming of cities I’ll never see.
What would he have done if I made the arrangements and told him to get in the car? What would he have done if I drove us to the airport and told him to get our bags from the trunk? What would he have done I took his hand and asked him to get on the plane with me?
What would I have done if he refused?
Oh your reputation’s so golden
You’re never lonely and you’re never home
I know you’ve been talking about leaving
You’ve lost all your feeling for this town
Paint your nails and put on your lipstick
You don’t wanna miss your ticket out
Just because you graduate from school
So high in the gene pool, that’s your point of view
But when you’re broken down
And no one else is around
You’ll come running back to this town
And I’ll be there, yeah, I’ll be there
‘Cause I remember how we drank time together
And how you used to say that the stars are forever
And daydreamed about how to make your life better
By leaving town, leaving town
Pack your bags, your smokes in your pocket
You’re wearing my locket around your neck
Take a drag and wait for the greyhound
The world is your playground and you wanna win