Sep 112014

Today’s reader question comes from Experienced Edgar
from Great Expectations, Illinois.

You know you can ask me anything, right?
That doesn’t mean you should ask me anything… but you totally can.

I am a male slave with a fair bit of experience. I met a girl on Friday last, and when I dropped her off, she mentioned something about kink. That immediately triggered my interest, but I left it at that and left.
The whole week while chatting, I brought the subject up and she seems quite keen but has no experience. I offered to do all her house chores on Saturday and she accepted.
I am now quite nervous as what to expect and how to handle the situation. If I can be helped with my approach and protocol I will be so grateful as it’s now a different situation where I will be the slave and she the novice wannabe Mistress.
Thank you so much for the opportunity to ask.

What should you expect?

You should expect to do her house chores.

How should you handle the situation?

You should handle the situation with a vacuum cleaner, a mop and bucket, a feather duster, and a toilet brush. You should handle it by doing exactly what you offered… without having expectations for anything more.

If she accepted your offer to do housework and there was no explicit mention of reciprocation (of any form), then you shouldn’t expect reciprocation (of any form, besides a “thank you,” because that’s just good manners). If she didn’t suggest anything kinky, sexual, or D/s,  you shouldn’t expect any. Also, keep in mind that while you may find doing a woman’s housework kinky, she may not. I’ve never been turned on by a man’s “domestic service,” and there’s a good chance she won’t get all hot and bothered when you dust knick-knacks either (that’s not a euphemism). She’s under no obligation to indulge your kinks any more than what you offered and she agreed to.


Beyond folding linens, washing dishes, and scrubbing floors…

She might be curious about kink, but without any experience or exposure, she may not have any idea what that means or what she’s interested in. At this point, you don’t even know if she’s dominant, submissive, switchy, or entirely vanilla… and there’s a good chance she doesn’t know either. (You shouldn’t assume… and neither should she.)

So, you could ask her what she’s interested in, but don’t expect much of a response. You’ve only known each other for a week — she might not feel comfortable sharing the specifics of her curiosity with you at this early stage.

If you ask and she seems amenable to sharing her thoughts, but she’s unsure of what she might interest her, you could point her to some online introductory/informational resources. (By informational, I mean not porn.)

If she reads, is still interested, and wants more, she can ask you or find it on her own.

Just don’t push her and don’t assume she’s dominant. She might not be. And keep in mind that she may have mentioned kink offhandedly, and then expressed an interest because she likes you. Of course, she may just be interested in having someone clean her house.

Regardless of the situation, keep your expectations low. If you lower your expectations, there’s less chance you’ll be disappointed and less chance you’ll push her into something she’s either not interested in or not ready for.

Advice on Approach and Protocol

For the time being, your only concern should be approaches to and protocols for house cleaning. Dust before vacuuming, vacuum before mopping, and if you really want to impress her, use newspapers instead of paper towels for cleaning windows and mirrors for a totally streak free shine.

You’re welcome. :)

(…and good luck!)


  3 Responses to “advice: experienced slave and novice domme”

  1. You said you “had a fair bit of experience” and that she seemed “quite keen”
    I think she has to be pretty naïve (and trusting)if she thinks a relative stranger is going to offer to do all her chores with no quid pro quo.

    But in choring to the best of your ability you will have taken the first step. The next step is up to her.
    So clear your day , lift that box and tote that bale and don’t forget to say “Thank you”

  2. What superb advice “dumb” domme offered. Sometimes you wish that you could hear the other side.
    I read the last sentence, “it is now a different situation where I will be the slave and she {will be} the novice wannabe Mistress.”

    I wonder what she thinks? Personally, being called a “wannabe” wouldn’t appeal to me… it has an odd
    connotation to it, a sound in my ear that I don’t like. Being called a novice is fine, I don’t understand why this word “wannabe” crept in there.

    Don’t you wonder how things will go? What will happen on Saturday?

  3. What do you want to bet the “something about kink” Is 50 Shades of Grey?

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