Aug 292014
 

When we last left our heroine, she was sad, drunk, and holding bolt cutters…
continued from breaking up (the collar), part 1

detached collar rings with overlayed text:

One of the O-rings is mine.

My intention was to turn it into a bracelet I could wear every so often — maybe when I’m missing him — but that didn’t work out so well. It did make a lovely bracelet, but I have freakishly tiny wrists, so it was too big for me to wear (aesthetically or comfortably). It would make a much better necklace, but I’m damn-straight not going to wear what appears to be a collar around my neck.

I think I have another idea, but with work deadlines looming, I’ll have to wait a while before I sit down and figure out if it will work. At some point (not now), I’ll post photos of my failed bracelet and maybe you all could help me come up with some ideas for what else to do with it.

collar with left and right d-rings and o-rings removed

One of the o-rings is J’s.

I made his ring into something else — a kind of usable keepsake, I guess. It’s not for him to wear or keep on his person, but I hope he keeps it around. I won’t disclose what it is here — it’s a bit too personal (and likely, too boring for anyone who isn’t him or me).

Although I gave the other ring to J to hold, it doesn’t belong to him. It’s mine, and I want it back someday… along with the boy wore it.

repurposed collar with two rings removed

The last ring stays on our collar.

If our paths cross again, I want to put our rings back on our collar and put the collar back on the boy. I want him to be my boy again — not forever, but maybe for a little while.

It’s not a promise, it’s not wishful thinking, and it’s not false hope. It’s possibility.

It’s all I’ve got at the moment, and that’s what I’m holding onto.

  7 Responses to “breaking up (the collar), part 2”

  1. Ugh. This makes my heart lurch. I love the practical aspect of this, but can’t ignore the heartbreak. Hugs to you, DD.

  2. I love the idea! Sorry the bracelet didn’t turn out.

  3. I hope when it’s time for things to be over between the Wild Thing and I, that handle things half as thoughtfully and graciously as you are. Though I won’t have any prayer of him ever being mine again! And this?

    “It would make a much better necklace, but I’m damn-straight not going to wear what appears to be a collar around my neck.”

    Too funny! I do have a dominant friend who likes to wear collars to kink events just to confuse people and mess with their perceptions. But I’m with you. No collar-like neck jewelry for me, thanks.

    • when it’s time for things to be over between the Wild Thing and I, that handle things half as thoughtfully and graciously as you are.

      Thank you for saying so. I do my best to handle it well in the presence of others, but there’s a lot of sadness, anger, and ugly gray storm clouds happening behind closed doors.

      No collar-like neck jewelry for me, thanks.

      Yeah, I never imagined I’d have a real problem with it, but when I tried it as a necklace and put it around my neck I couldn’t shake the snarly feeling and I couldn’t wait to get it off. It’s just not going to work for me.

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