When we last left our heroine, she was sad, drunk, and holding bolt cutters…
continued from breaking up (the collar), part 1
One of the O-rings is mine.
My intention was to turn it into a bracelet I could wear every so often — maybe when I’m missing him — but that didn’t work out so well. It did make a lovely bracelet, but I have freakishly tiny wrists, so it was too big for me to wear (aesthetically or comfortably). It would make a much better necklace, but I’m damn-straight not going to wear what appears to be a collar around my neck.
I think I have another idea, but with work deadlines looming, I’ll have to wait a while before I sit down and figure out if it will work. At some point (not now), I’ll post photos of my failed bracelet and maybe you all could help me come up with some ideas for what else to do with it.
One of the o-rings is J’s.
I made his ring into something else — a kind of usable keepsake, I guess. It’s not for him to wear or keep on his person, but I hope he keeps it around. I won’t disclose what it is here — it’s a bit too personal (and likely, too boring for anyone who isn’t him or me).
Although I gave the other ring to J to hold, it doesn’t belong to him. It’s mine, and I want it back someday… along with the boy wore it.
The last ring stays on our collar.
If our paths cross again, I want to put our rings back on our collar and put the collar back on the boy. I want him to be my boy again — not forever, but maybe for a little while.
It’s not a promise, it’s not wishful thinking, and it’s not false hope. It’s possibility.
It’s all I’ve got at the moment, and that’s what I’m holding onto.