Feb 262014

He had been so good for me — so sweet and so compliant. There was no resistance. He was overripe and ready — needing only gentle pressure, he yielded at the slightest touch.

He’s lovely that way, when he’s malleable and mine. It’s breathtaking and heartbreaking all at once, and in those moments, I wish I could move him as much as he moves me. I wish I could find some poignant, graceful way to communicate my appreciation, my adoration, and my complete and total pleasure in his mind, his heart, and his body.

After he’s given so freely (after I’ve taken so much,) there’s nothing I want more than to reciprocate, to give him some gift that’s half as beautiful as the one he’s given me.

And so I ask.

The simplicity of the question — “What do you want?”—  belies its impetus and its intention. I want to know what he wants because I want him to have it. I want to give it to him. Anything. Everything. All he has to do is say the words.

Sometimes he responds with this or that, but what he wants (what I can give him) never matches the magnitude of my desire to please him even half as much as he pleases me.

But still… I ask, he answers, and I usually comply.

This past weekend, for the first time, his response left me speechless, overwhelmed, and nearly crushed by the weight of his submission.

I asked, gently and sincerely:

“Baby… what do you want? Anything… just tell me.”

And he responded:

“Ma’am… unless I can have three more wishes, I can’t think of anything I want more than what I have right now.”

My heart shattered at the beauty and the sadness of the sentiment, and I couldn’t help but echo his thoughts inside my head: There is nothing more I want than this man, this love, this moment. 

All I want is more of what I have, but sadly, we’re running out of wishes.

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three more wishes

original image: “Shooting Star” (2011) by txvirus (via DeviantArt); licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported (CC BY-SA 3.0). Text by Dumb Domme (2014); may be licensed under CC BY-SA 3.0.

  25 Responses to “three more wishes”

  1. I can feel your hand on my heart, squeezing … are you trying to get us readers to talk you out of the decision not to move with J?

    • I can feel your hand on my heart, squeezing

      If only actions and reactions were so predictable. :)

      … are you trying to get us readers to talk you out of the decision not to move with J?

      No, unfortunately not — J’s head is in the clouds and my feet are firmly planted in the sand. I won’t be moving with him. No need to talk me out of my decision… but I wouldn’t stop you if you tried to talk J out of his… ;)

  2. I’ve known that feeling, of wondering how on earth could there be anything more that I could want and need than what I already have. The memory of that feeling is enough to put a smile on my face, or sometimes to bring me to tears.

  3. Crushing……

    ~ Vista

  4. So sweet… My wish is that you both had more wishes.

  5. That feeling, when love is perfect, when you could stay in that moment forever, is breathtaking. Yet joy and gratitude that the moment exists never softens the sting that it cannot be forever.

    My heart feels for you, so much.

  6. I know that feeling… well both the feeling that he gives me something I have nothing comparable to reciprocate with and also the feeling that nothing compares to what I already have. Then I remember that he feels what I give him is incomparable to anything he could possibly give me too. Seems crazy to me, but I suppose that is part of what makes the relationship work. And I always hope that he also feels he has everything he needs in me.

  7. The heartbreak of relationships doomed by circumstance, I can relate. My submissive has flown the coop as playing BDSM games seems to mess with her head for practicing law. There are few things in the word sweeter than gagging an attorney! Thankfully I still have my slave/wife, so my loss is likely easier to bear than what you must contemplate.

  8. This makes my heart tremble.

  9. Stop making me cry! (I’ve been avoiding your blog for this exact reason.) Aw crap… SOB!

    • Oh, I’m sorry Heather! I go through phases when I don’t want to write for just those reasons — it makes me sad, AND I’m aware that I’ll make others sad.

      No sobs — just thankfulness and a little bit of melancholy, okay? :)

      It’s going to be okay… (at least that’s what I keep telling myself)

  10. My heart goes out to both of you. The accounts of your and J’s relationship have been fascinating and inspirational. Thank you so much for sharing and I wish you both the very best.

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