Year in Review
Pop Culture Malapropisms & Mix-ups: Part 2
#3: Mario Batali | Marion Bartoli
In July, the interwebz was all a-Twitter with variations on “you’re fat… fat fat fat fat fat” and suggestions: “there’s your plate, now get back in the kitchen and make everyone a sandwich.” But why Bartoli? Of all people in all professions, why the fuck would anyone fat-shame a celebrity chef?
People tweeted their support and wrote articles about how we should judge people on their professional achievements rather than their weight, and why we shouldn’t sexualize public bodies or expect public figures to be sex symbols.
I’m in favor of all of those things… but for this guy? Seriously? He wears bright orange crocs and he’s about as sexual as a lima bean. I mean, sure, he’s a public figure, but I was shocked that his rotund appearance overshadowed his numerous wins as an Iron Chef.
In hindsight, I understand my confusion. I’m no fan, but I’m way more familiar with Iron Chef than I am with professional tennis. Besides that, Mario Batali is somewhat known for his weight (he broke a bed on live television), and Marion Bartoli is frequently photographed with a giant plate… which is something you might expect from a chef.
#2: Dzhokhar Tsarnaev | Daenerys Targaryen
In April, on Twitter I learned that some melanin-challenged chick from Game of Thrones set off a fuck-ton of bombs at the Boston Marathon. I mean, I knew it wasn’t actually a character from the television show — I figured it was some obsessed fan who had some sort of a mental break, took up the identity of one of the characters, and decided to blow shit up.
Turns out it wasn’t the dragon chick from Game of Thrones, but some domestic terrorist with the same first and last initial and similarly confusing syllabic breaks. It was more fire-bombing terrorist than fire-breathing dragon.
#1: NARAL | NAMBLA
On June 25th, Texas state Senator Wendy Davis filibustered for 11 hours to kill a bill that would have implemented the most stringent abortion restrictions in the United States.
It was one of the most exciting political moments I’ve experienced in my lifetime. My ‘participation,’ and more meaningful material participation was made possible by the live stream from the Texas chamber and real-time Tweeting by AP reporting from Austin. Watching the events unfold was fucking riveting (and maddening!) and I got wrapped up in following the coverage (and ridiculousness), tweeting my arguments and analysis of Texas Senate rules of order.
But then my unabashed devotion came to a screeching halt… for the life of me, I couldn’t understand why Wendy Davis was welcoming the support of such a disgusting organization. Before this, I didn’t think NAMBLA was real — I thought it was a South Park joke.
I kept reading, wondering if my campaign donation just went to some crazy person who welcomed the support of the “North American May/Boy Love Association…
And then I realized I had confused NAMBLA and NARAL, which isn’t something you should do.
Yeah. Those aren’t the same. Dumb Domme regrets the error. I regret all the errors… (and in advance, I regret all future errors).