(or, “How to Trigger a Dominant’s Dominance”)
So, I sorta made up a term “D/s triggers,” in order to make a distinction between turn-ons (things that make me want to fuck) and triggers (things that make me feel dominant…. and make me want to fuck). While I explained the difference, I didn’t identify my own ‘dominance triggers.’ I’m going to attempt to do that now…
What triggers a dominant’s dominance? (or, her feelings of dominance)
I can only speak for myself, of course, though not at any great length. I don’t know what triggers me until it happens, and even then, I don’t always identify something as a trigger unless it’s frequent or intense enough for me to notice it as such. (Come to think of it, I wonder if J might be able to speak more to my triggers than I can. Perhaps I should add that to the list of questions for J…?)
A few of my ‘dominance triggers’:
When I’m suddenly pushy or demanding, but he’s not yet sure if I’m being playful or dead serious, sometimes he takes a half step backwards or lowers his eyes. It’s a strange, vulnerable sort of deference that says “I give in” or “I give up” and it just destroys me.
When he tries to look up at me, despite the fact he’s nearly a foot taller than I am. It’s subtle — it’s more about his attitude and approach toward me than his physical location in relation to mine.
When he says “please…” out of desperation rather than politeness, when he has no idea what he’s asking for, when he just wants, but he’s unable to articulate anything more than a breathy, desperate “please.” It’s fuckinghot…