You’ve got Qs? I’ve got As…
Would you ever “force-feminize” your boy just to explore what his feelings are like when he wears women’s lingerie? Even if he didn’t have a cross-dresser fetish? (I take it that Sissy boys don’t excite you all that much.)
No. For a couple of reasons, I won’t ever force-feminize J.
- First, forced feminization just isn’t something I’m interested in. I’m not curious about exploring whatever feelings he might have as a result of dressing like a woman, whether that be in women’s clothing or lingerie. For the record, I’m also not interesting in exploring his feelings while he’s dressed as a construction worker, Elvis, a banana, a Ninja Turtle, or a blue M&M, either. (Ok, I might be interested in exploring my feelings if J dresses up like a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle…)
- Second, typically forced feminization is about humiliation (not about the ‘exploration of feelings’), and I’m not into humiliation play.
- Third, forced feminizing as humiliation is misogynistic, and nothing about misogyny turns me on. The idea that being a woman (or dressing or acting ‘feminine’) is degrading or humiliating relies on the assumption that being female/woman is less than being male/man. For the record, I don’t think there’s anything humiliating, demeaning, or shameful about being, feeling, acting, or dressing like a woman.
- Fourth, as you suggested, ‘sissy boys’ just don’t excite me — I don’t find men in women’s clothing arousing. While there have been some exceptions, in general, I’m attracted to stereotypically masculine features, characteristics, behaviors.
With that said, J put on fishnets and I spanked him once, and it was fucking hot. :) But it was a spur of the moment thing — my intent wasn’t to feminize him. In the moment, what turned me on was his willingness to do something he didn’t want to do. For the record, it hasn’t happened since and it’s not likely to happen again.
I’m having a seriously hard time picking a Domme name for myself. My husband and I have been together for over 9 years and we are dabbling in the BDSM scene. Any suggestions other than be original? Or maybe have a website with suggestions? I’ve spent countless hours online looking for help and can’t find any.
You’re asking me
for help in choosing a name? Boy, you really must be desperate for ideas. :) Despite the fact that ‘Dumb Domme’ annoys me more with each passing day, I still haven’t come up with a better pseudonym
You know, you don’t need a scene name. There’s no rule that says you have to. If you’re going to be active in a local scene or post photos of yourself on sites like FetLife, then hiding your name won’t help much in protecting your identity.
With that said, if you’re looking for a scene name and online handle that’s different from your first name, be sure to choose something you won’t feel stupid saying when you introduce yourself. “Ivana Payneyah” might look badass as an online handle, but imagine yourself saying, “I’m Ivana Payneyah, nice to meet ya” when you meet someone face to face. “Mistress Sparkle Cunt” might look adorable in an online forum, but it’s going to look ridiculous on a name badge.
If you’re looking for originality, avoid honorifics and BDSM-related titles. On Fetlife alone there are 44,368 subs, 32,736 masters, 25,310 slaves, 13,094 ladys, 11,301 mistresses, 3,777 goddesses, and 2,473 dommes.
Beware of animals, too. There are 8,998 wolfs, 7,770 kittys, 7,442 dogs, 4,788 dragons, and 2,553 tigers.
And stay clear of common ‘sex/y’ words. There are 36,354 angels (but only 3,709 devils), 12,516 hots, 11,388 sluts, 9,653 sexys, 4,427 naughtys, and 2,099 whores.
Maybe go for something old-fashioned. In terms of women’s names, there are only 15 Maudes, 10 Gertrudes, 6 Marjories, 5 Hildegardes, 2 Brunhildas, and no Ermengardes (none at all!). Perhaps one of those fits you? Ok… maybe not. I guess those names aren’t popular for a reason, right?
The best advice I can give you is to use Google Translate
. Try picking out a word or phrase that’s meaningful or descriptive and see what it looks like and sounds like in other languages.
Do you have any specific recommendations of books to read concerning rope bondage? I am new to this and need the most basic type of information, type of rope to use, best body types to start with, etc. I am a female new to this and would like to find some of the grace
as you have described
previously. I love reading your blog! Have a great day.
I learned the basics of knot tying from my experiences rock climbing and sailing. When I became interested in bondage, I just looked at photos online and tried to replicate what I saw (with some success).
I did peruse some online resources, though, and they were extremely useful in helping me apply what I already knew about knots to bondage and restraint. For example, while I knew that different knots performed different functions, online resources made me realize that some knots are safer than others in bondage situations. (I learned that half-hitch knots and clove hitch knots aren’t safe to use on a partner’s wrists or ankles because they tighten under pressure and can cut off circulation.)
So unfortunately, no, I can’t recommend any books on rope bondage, but I suspect you can learn a lot from online resources. I strongly recommend Two Knotty Boys — their website
, their Amazon author page
(for paperbacks and Kindle books), and their YouTube videos
Good luck finding your grace… and happy tying. :)