Aug 242013

Fucking Fonts #2: Effing Typeface, by Alex Merto

From Anus to Zipper, Alex Merto‘s “Effing Typeface” includes pubic hair, a tongue, a vibrator, and quite a few other sex-related body parts, items, and concepts.


What I like about Merto’s font is that he worked with the shapes of the letters AND with sex-related words that start with the letters. For example, to me, the shape of the letter ‘V’ looks like two legs in the air. But instead of depicting two legs in the air, Merto depicted a sex-related thing that starts with the letter, a vibrator.

Of course, some letters lend themselves to representation more easily than others. ‘B’ for Boobs is fairly obvious, but ‘H’ for Hermaphrodite and ‘M’ for Mound are pretty creative.

There are a couple I can’t figure out… any ideas?

Anus G-Spot (Gushing) L ? Queef (?) Vibrator
Boobs Hermaphrodite Mound R ? Whipped Cream
Come Infection N ? Stockings XXX (Triple X)
Deepthroat J ? Open wide Tongue Y ?
E ? (Erection?) K ? Pubic Hair Underpants Zipper

  21 Responses to “effing typeface”

  1. L-Labia, K-Kink?

    Yes! I think you’re right on both counts. At first, I thought the ‘L’ was some sort of oddly shaped, bent penis. Even after you first said ‘labia,’ I didn’t see it. A few hours later, I scrolled back through the post and saw labia. But then… aren’t those really vulva? Hmmm… I think you’re right that it’s supposed to be labia, but I might take some issue with Merto here — those are probably vulva.

    L is for Labia?

  2. I’ve been lurking for a while, so “Hi!”

    Is it possible that Y is for yank? Or that’s how my mind works, anyway.


    • I’ve been lurking for a while, so “Hi!”

      Hi!! I love delurkers! Nice to meet you, Allegra!

      Is it possible that Y is for yank? Or that’s how my mind works, anyway.

      ‘Yank’ makes sense to me, and I love how your mind works! ;)

  3. J could be Johnson?

    has captions.
    A asshole
    C cumshot
    E erectile dysfunction
    F furry
    G golden shower
    J jacket
    K kinkey (sic)
    L love handles
    M muff
    N necrophilia
    O o-face
    P pubes
    R read entry
    S slutty
    U underpants
    XXX porn rating
    Y yank job

  5. F could be Furry as well.
    J could be Jimmy Hat
    K could be Kink
    L could be Labia
    R could be Rimming or Rear Entry
    Y could be Yank

  6. OOOH! OOOH! ME! ME!… I even have a crude rendering to go with it!

    L= Libiddo!… I’m drunk so I’m not sure if it’s spelled right… Did I mention crude rendering?

    L is for Libido?

  7. The British colloquialism for condom is “Johnny” or rubber Johnny.

  8. Reminds me of the pictures of the letters of the alphabet I got from my first grade teacher Mrs. Spearing. We were supposed to color in the letters. Each was a character or personality. “Mrs. Spearing wears and earring.” That was her way of getting us to remember who our teacher was when we stayed on the swings too long at recess. Like to think of Mrs. Spearing in a see through latex dress handing out Ms. G Spot gusher for me to color in. She’d still be wearing earrings my Mrs. Spearing.

    • That was her way of getting us to remember who our teacher was

      Well it certainly worked, because you still remember!

      Perhaps she did wear a latex dress… in her off-time. You never know. ;)

  9. hmmm….Think I’ll try these at work on those reports I’m absolutely sure nobody reads….

  10. J is for Johnny. In the UK a condom is a “rubber johnny” or “johnny for short”.

  11. Misplaced ” in the last comment :)

    … “johnny” for short.

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