He’s leaving soon.
Maybe within the next few months. Maybe sooner. Maybe not.
He’s come close to leaving before, but this time feels different.
As far as I know, I’ve always been privy to his plans to go — I’ve always been aware — but this time, it took me by surprise.
Surprise…? Maybe. J has always been leaving, so I can’t say it’s a surprise. It isn’t. But it is.
I nearly broke down a few nights ago, right after he told me… right after he left.
I sent two emails.
email #1: Fuck you. Please stop it.
email #2: Ignore my last message. I’m fine. I promise. This just took me a little off-guard. I love you. :)
Both sentiments are true. Fuck him. But also… I’m fine (or at least, I will be). Both.
I love him either way.