Mar 232013
 

The way you manipulated spreadsheets was so hot. Please let me repace your kindness with kinky sex acts. While I was out of town, J and I had a pretty heated email exchange (e-fight!).

We went round about the same old issues, but nothing got resolved. While we were both angry, we decided to put the discussion (argument) on hold until I got back home and we could talk in person.

I did tell him that I’ve been working something that might help — it’s a new system to clarify my expectations of him in a few different areas. It’s not finished yet, but here’s a preview: it has guidelines, examples, quotas, and an “alert system,” all built in to one color coded spreadsheet. Romantic, right!? :)

J picked me up at the airport on Thursday evening and took off work on Friday to spend the night. I was exhausted, we missed each other, and neither one of us wanted to talk about difficult stuff. So, we didn’t. :)

Tonight, by "fuck" I mean rub my feet and eat me out

After work on Friday, we talked about it for a little while. We both got a bit sad, but we weren’t angry anymore. Nothing is resolved yet, but I think solutions are on the horizon (spreadsheets!). If not solutions, at least we’re trying something proactive rather than sitting around waiting for the relationship to fall apart.

Talking about it any more wasn’t going to do any good. Besides, dealing with relationship crap seems like a waste of time… time that could be better spent naked and tangled in the sheets.

So, we did that instead. :)

The sex was fucking incredible. In-fucking-credible. Fuckingincredible.

He made me… oh yes. He got me out of my head. :) Funny enough, he didn’t read my post while I was at work (not that I expected him to interpret it — it was just emo-spew that comes from my thinking too much and wanting to fuck). He was such a good boy. He didn’t ask for anything, except to please me. I guess the combination of incredible sweetness and our collective emotional bottoming out, well, I guess it worked for me.

I had three orgasms. THREE.

While we didn’t learn anything about our relationship, we did learn quite a bit about what works for me in bed and what happens to me during and after orgasm three orgasms.
Here’s what I learned last night:

  • Rimming. Holy fuck. Wow. More on that another day.
  • Apparently, I’m less inhibited and more likely to orgasm when I’m unhappy… I guess. (?) Or, maybe I just need to be distracted — unwanted emotions are distracting, after all. Or maybe I just need to get out of my head, or focus less on orgasm, or something. I have no fucking idea. All I know is this isn’t the first time a meh/angry/sad headspace led to orgasmic awesomeness. It’s slightly troubling, but I’m not going to give it too much thought (yeah right).
  • When I have a “relaxed” orgasm (as opposed to the ones I have to “force” through a series of complicated and intense isometric muscle tensing exercises and monkey fapping) my whole body sort of vibrates, shakes, and bounces a little… kinda like a Bumble Ball.
Bumble Ball animated gif

There’s nothing sexier than a Bumble Ball.

  • I am incapable of playing it cool after orgasm. I’d like to be able to play it cool if I wanted to –  either soft, sexy, and romantic (“Oh darling, that was amazing…mmm…” *purr*) or a total ice queen (“That was adequate, boy. Get back down there and do better!”) But I can’t. What I feel is pure joy — for the physical pleasure, for the emotional connection, and for him (seriously!). He wants my orgasms so-fucking-much and it delights me when I’m able to give him one… I mean, when he is able to give one to me. Actually, I mean both. Sometimes I want them more for him than for me. Anyway, my orgasms… he deserves them, so when it happens, I’m anything but cool. Apparently, I express combination endorphine-rush-release-joy-delight through laughter. I laugh… a lot.
  • I can’t repress joy, but I did manage to stop myself from giving J a high five. That means I’m cool, right?

a high five after sex says it all

 

  16 Responses to “three orgasms… THREE!”

  1. Yeah, I see where you are coming from there. After a participatory orgasm with someone I act like a slightly stunned 1950 movie star gushing for a kid’s film “Golly! Gosh, that was nice!” and giggle.

    • I act like a slightly stunned 1950 movie star gushing for a kid’s film “Golly! Gosh, that was nice!” and giggle.

      Yes! I don’t think I know of any 1950s films, but the “Golly!” and the giggles sound just about right to describe my post-O behavior. :)

  2. So ecstatic for you. I often will postpone messy emotional issues with sex. It’s a great escape.

    • I often will postpone messy emotional issues with sex. It’s a great escape.

      Not only that, but it’s also a nice way to reconnect and remember why you’re with someone in the first place. :)

  3. *claps* (okay, that felt wrong).

    Awesome! I swear, the ‘fuck you!’ thing totally works to block that external observation/evaluation/blah blah noise that gets in the way.

    For what it’s worth, one of my physical reactions to a really intense orgasm is to laugh. It’s not a ‘happiness-joy’ laugh, it’s an involuntary ‘what the fuck was THAT!? OMGGGG!!’ response because my body apparently just doesn’t know what to do with that intensity after the fact (I’m beyond glad that my body doesn’t decide I need a good cry, because that would be kind of a bummer for all concerned).

    Ferns

    • I swear, the ‘fuck you!’ thing totally works to block that external observation/evaluation/blah blah noise that gets in the way.

      Yeah, but that’s not good! If I feel the “fuck you” too much, then ironically, I don’t actually want to fuck him.

      one of my physical reactions to a really intense orgasm is to laugh. It’s not a ‘happiness-joy’ laugh, it’s an involuntary ‘what the fuck was THAT!?

      Ha! I must have said that exact phrase at least three or four times… “what the FUCK was that?” My emphasis was different, but the words were the same!

      I’m beyond glad that my body doesn’t decide I need a good cry, because that would be kind of a bummer for all concerned

      Yes, yes, a million times yes. I know people can’t control their physiological/psychological responses to such things, but if I ever, EVER cry after orgasm, just fucking kill me.

      • Come on ladies… crying from an intense orgasm isn’t all that earth crushing. I mean.. it’s not a chest wracking, heart wrenching, snot bubbling out of the nose kind of cry… but there’s been moments, when the “coupling” just hits on a beautiful, deep emotional connection sort of level and I’ve been known to have tears flowing post orgasm. It’s almost like a full body release.

        • Regarding what I said, “if I ever, EVER cry after orgasm, just fucking kill me,” there’s two ways to look at it… both are pretty fucking sad. :)

          1) In my whole life, I’ve had less than 10 orgasms with a partner. Ever. I don’t have that much experience. Maybe if I had more, I’d have one of those orgasms that made tears flow.

          2) Perhaps the same over-thinking and unwillingness to let go that makes crying so distasteful to me is the same over-thinking and unwillingness that makes it so difficult for me to orgasm. (not that I can suddenly turn it all off or anything)

          Anyway, no it isn’t earth crushing, I’m just in my head. :)

  4. Would you consider it a version of makeup sex? I’m thinking about “apparently, I’m less inhibited and more likely to orgasm when I’m unhappy.” Not in the strict definition, but you were discussing heavy relationship stuff and then decided to fuck = Orgasm. Maybe?

    Your version of afterglow is still way cooler than mine. I yelled, “God Bless America!” during a particular amazing orgasm, and he’s still laughing about it. I’ve never uttered that phrase any other time in my life.

    I’m so happy for your three, D. And between you and me, I think spreadsheets are sexy as fuck. xo

    • Would you consider it a version of makeup sex?

      No. :) “Make-up sex” implies resolution. We have none. The relationship stuff isn’t resolved, and I’m not even sure what that means to us anyway. There are too many variables for us to even hope for resolution in the larger sense. The most we can hope for is that the happy outweighs the sad for as long as possible. :)

      I yelled, “God Bless America!” during a particular amazing orgasm, and he’s still laughing about it. I’ve never uttered that phrase any other time in my life.

      Patriotism? There’s no time like the present. I put my hand over my…. heart, and I salute you, Heather. :)

      between you and me, I think spreadsheets are sexy as fuck.

      Agreed! Spreadsheets are generally sexy-as-fuck, but this one feels like a concession. I’m not sure if it’s too much of a compromise or not. Meh.. but then I remember… we aren’t permanent… so I make my spreadsheets and try to negotiate happiness by accounting for variables and writing logical “if” statements.

      Heh. Apparently, melancholy nerd is melancholy tonight… in case no one noticed. :)

  5. Love the bumble ball! I know that feeling very well. The “tense and release” orgasm is something else entirely.

    • The “tense and release” orgasm is something else entirely.

      I know, right? I mean, I don’t know a lot, but I’d really like to learn more. :)

  6. You realise the next time I have an earth shattering shaky relaxed orgasm, I am going to think “Bumble Ball” and then laugh hysterically, and THEN have to explain to The Gentleman why.
    ***bookmarks the page in preparation***

    • Ha! I love it! You’ll have to report back here after you’ve confused the heck out of your partner with uncontrollable laughter and mentions of Bumble Balls! :D

  7. *I just need to get out of my head*

    While nothing scientific… THIS is usually where a lot of women I’ve chatted with seem to struggle. If I were to hazard a guess as to why it seems to happen when your mad or unhappy… it’s not that your mad or unhappy, but that you are so emotionally drained that you turn your head off. Not sure how that helps you when you’re not this way…I don’t know how to easily turn a persons head off.

    • it’s not that your mad or unhappy, but that you are so emotionally drained that you turn your head off. Not sure how that helps you when you’re not this way…I don’t know how to easily turn a persons head off.

      That’s a much better way to think of it. I’d rather be emotionally drained than miserable (although I have to be miserable to be emotionally drained, but I’ll ignore that for the moment!).

      As for turning my brain off, I wish I knew. :)

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