Ask-a-Domme: How to Introduce Your Wife to Femdom
(or, “how to boil a frog”)
I am slowly introducing my wife of 3 years (dated for 10 prior) to the idea of her taking on a dominant role. So far I have introduced her to large dildo play instead of me (im about 6″ and thin) fisting her, then I jack off in front of her, and face sitting as well as my foot fetish.
Am i on the right path? whats the next best step to femdom?
You clever boy! That’s pretty slick. ;)
Your approach reminds me of the anecdote about how to boil a frog…
Folk wisdom says that if you drop a frog into a pot of boiling water, it will instantly jump out. But if you put a frog in cool water and gradually increase the temperature (ever-so-slowly), it won’t notice. Eventually, the frog will cook to death without ever realizing it was in danger. 
It sounds like you’re boiling a frog. :) Instead of dropping all your kinks on your wife at once (essentially dropping her into a dominant role), you’re doing it gradually. You have her do a little orgasm supervision first, a bit of facesitting next, and then you bring in some foot worship… If you introduce your fetishes slowly enough, she won’t notice what’s going on, and eventually she’ll become your dominant without ever having realized what happened.
You sly dog!
It might be a brilliant plan, except for one thing.
Femdom isn’t warm water and your wife isn’t a fucking frog.
Your question mentions your kinks, your wants, and your plan. What it doesn’t mention is what your wife wants, whether she enjoys your fetishes, or if she’s even aware this is all part of your master plan to get her to dominate you.
Do you know what she wants? Do you know if she enjoys your fetishes? Is she aware you have a plan for her? Does she even know you’re already taking steps to turn her into a dominant?
No? You don’t know? You didn’t tell her about your plan? I didn’t think so.
Dominants aren’t fetish delivery systems. They don’t exist to fulfill your fantasies and work out your kinks. If that’s what your wife is doing, then you’re the dominant and she’s service topping you. There’s nothing wrong with that (as long as service topping is something she’s okay with and you aren’t manipulating her into it). But don’t go around feeling all subby, because you’re not. You don’t get to feel hot and bothered because she’s “using” you… because she isn’t. You’re using her.
You asked about the next step, and here it is…
Go apologize to your wife for being an asshole.
 Not that I give a fuck about frogs, but there’s lots of evidence to suggest the slow-boil-frog thing isn’t true. Theoretically, you could bring the temperature of water up so slowly that the frog wouldn’t notice, but that would take over two hours. A frog isn’t going to stay still that long, so at some point, you’re going to end up with second degree burns and one very angry frog.
Do you have a question? Ask.