Jan 032013

When I released him from the restraints, he was framed in the center of the bed by tangles of silky black rope, beautiful against the white linens. He stretched and flexed his wrists for a moment, arranged some pillows behind him, and leaned back with his head on his hands. He smiled slightly, looking relaxed and dreamy.

I was wound to the point of breaking and still smouldering in my skin. A rivulet of sweat trickled down the back of my neck as I steadied myself to breathe.

“I’ll need a few minutes,” I said, flicking my fingers toward a low table where I’d tossed pieces of gear on a well-ordered assortment of leather, steel, and nylon.

I turned on the ceiling fan in the master bath and stripped off my jeans and t-shirt. The black lace of my panties was soaked through, both from sweat and from my pussy. I took them off and threw them on top of the pile of crumpled clothing in the corner.

Soaking a washcloth in cold running water, I wrung it out and held it to my face for a minute before skimming it over my neck and chest, then down over my stomach, cooling off as much as cleaning up. I stopped at my pubic bone, not wanting to wash away the wetness I had earned over the course of the evening.

Instead, I retrieved the new dildo I’d bought and rubbed the pony end against my pussy, gathering my own lubrication. Despite it being wider than I’m used to, it slipped in easily. Since I was dripping and it was new, I wasn’t sure how well it would stay in place. I grabbed the light strap-on harness, shimmied it up my thighs, slid the O ring down over the cock, and tightened the straps around my hips.

I glanced in the mirror. The dark straps cut harsh lines across my pale skin and the new cock looked strange, leaving me feeling more exposed than if I had been completely naked. I slipped on a sheer grey silk robe and looked again — in it, I looked softer and felt more like myself. I liked the way the cock looked jutting out from opening of robe, so I didn’t bother tying it closed at the waist.

I heard movement in the bedroom, then soft sounds of fabric falling to the floor as piles of rope were pushed off the bed and out of the way. When I returned, I found J in the same position as when I had left him — stretched out, propped up, with his hands behind his head. His smile was the same, but the dreamy look was gone; his eyes were anxious and eager.

I fixed J a generous whiskey and made myself a vodka tonic at the night bar he set up earlier in the evening. (Since we spend hours in bed when we have the opportunity, it’s lovely to have an ice bucket, a water pitcher, glasses, and cocktail ingredients nearby.) I set my drink on the nightstand and offered J’s to him.

“Did you want a drink?”

“Yes, Ma’am. Thank you.”

He reached to take it, but I slapped his hand away.

“Sit up…. you can’t drink like that. You’ll choke.”

He rearranged the pillows and sat up against the headboard.

With his drink in hand, I got up on the bed and straddled his hips. I sat back on my heels, pinning his cock between his stomach and my already-filled cunt. He stared down at my cock as I settled myself — it was approximately in the same place his cock had been just moments before.

Taking a sip from his glass, I leaned forward and kissed him, letting the liquor flow from my mouth into his.

“Thank you, ma’am.”

I let him finish his drink this way, taking it from my mouth. Each time I gave him another sip, my kisses grew increasingly violent; he had to swallow quick so his mouth would be soft and yielding when I pushed in.

After I returned the empty highball to the nightstand, he reached out to touch my cock.

I shook my head and he pulled his hand away.

I roughly patted his cheek, traced his jawline with my nails, and rested two extended fingers on his lips. He moved forward, quickly taking my fingers into his mouth and sucking hard.

Hooking my fingers behind his bottom teeth, I pulled him forward by the jaw and leaned in close enough to whisper in his ear.

“No baby,” I chided. “Not like that. You need to tease me first… nice and slow. Do a good job…. show me how much you want to suck my cock…”

I sat up straight and held my hand in front of his mouth again, offering him three fingers.

He was slow and gentle this time, first fluttering his tongue over my fingertips, then licking, then softly sucking them into his mouth. I pulled out slowly, letting lap at me before allowing him to draw my fingers into his mouth again.

After a little while, I took up a slow rhythm and gently fucked his mouth with my hand. I couldn’t help but imagine how good his soft, warm mouth would feel on my cock. I closed my eyes and tried to imagine it, willing my fingers to be more sensitive, willing the sensations to my cunt, but it wasn’t nearly enough. I wanted so much more.

I pulled away and traced his beautiful lips with my wet fingertips. With my other hand, I petted his cheek for a moment before slipping it behind his head and shoving four fingers into his mouth as far as they would go.

His eyes squeezed shut and he gagged, but he didn’t struggle. I held him there and watched his face until he relaxed before I let him go.

“Good boy…”

I gave him a moment to breathe before I took his hand from my waist and held it up between us.

“Now it’s your turn, baby. I just want to watch this time… show me how well you suck.”

J looked at his hand for a moment before looking back to me. I nodded my encouragement. He brought his fingers to his lips, closed his eyes, and teased his fingertips with his tongue.

“Look at me,” I directed.

He opened his eyes and looked at me, anxious, but obedient.

“Good boy… you’re fine,” I reassured him. “Go on… do a good job… show me how good you are.”

He looked sheepish, but continued to lick and suck his own fingers anyway. As I leaned over to get a little bottle of lube from the nightstand, he paused to see what I was doing.

“Don’t stop. I didn’t tell you to stop… and keep looking at me.”

He resumed. I put a few drops of lubricant in my hand and began to stroke my cock. J’s eyes dropped for a moment to watch me before correcting himself.

“It’s okay…” I smiled slightly, “do you want to watch?”

He nodded, looking ridiculous with three fingers jammed in his mouth.

J watched me wrap my hand around my cock, gliding up and down the shaft — his own cock throbbed beneath me. Watching him, his lips wrapped lewdly around his fingers, my pussy clenched on the pony — I could almost feel my cock throbbing in my fist. As I stroked, the pony rocked against my g-spot and the ridges rubbed my clit — god it felt good. I imagined how much better his soft, wet mouth would feel against my skin.

I wondered if he was thinking the same thing. Was he imagining my cock in his mouth instead of his fingers? Or was he imagining my hand wrapped around his cock instead of around my own? It didn’t really matter — I wasn’t going to offer him a choice.

“Are you ready for more?”

He nodded.

“Will you do a good job for me?”

He nodded again, withdrew his sloppy wet fingers, then wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

“Yes, ma’am.”

I rose up on my knees, used the corner of my robe to wipe the lube off my cock, then let it slip off my shoulders and fall behind me.

I already knew the height wasn’t right on my knees, so I stood and braced my hand against the wall for balance. Moving my feet a few inches farther apart put me in the perfect position to fuck his face.

He leaned his head back against the headboard.

“Good boy,” I purred, putting my cock to his lips.

His lips parted slightly, but his jaw was tense. I gently nudged against his teeth, but he didn’t move.

In that moment of hesitation, I sensed his discomfort and felt his fear at the tipping point of control — and it was like fuel to fire. I was nearly overcome by the urge to push through his discomfort and force myself inside him. The hesitation, knowing he might not want this, it made me ache to pry him open and shove my cock down his throat as far as it would go. My head spun with the want to make him take it, to fuck his face, to fuck his head into the wall until it hurt.

Every muscle in my body was tense and every nerve was on fire. I leaned both hands against the wall, closed my eyes, and took deep breaths as I struggled to quiet my thoughts and get a hold of my tentative self-control.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

I opened my eyes and found J looking up at me, my cock still inches from his face. I must have looked like a mad-woman fighting with the voices in her head. If he only knew…

“Yes baby, I’m okay… I just… I needed a minute.”

Apparently, so had he. Still looking up into my face, he made a show of opening wide for me.

I shook the remnants of the violent thoughts from my head, and slowly, I guided my cock into his beautiful mouth. When I felt resistance, I paused to let him get accustomed to the violation.

Achingly – slowly – I fed my cock into his willing mouth, pushing a little farther each time. The pressure in my pussy felt so good. I clenched down on the pony, gritting my teeth as I filled him up, withdrew, then filled him up again.

It was so fucking good. My own want was building at a faster pace than he could take. I moaned in frustration, maintaining the slow violation of his mouth and throat. When he started to gag, my cunt throbbed and tingled and ached for him to take more, to take it harder and faster. I looked down to see his eyes shut tight and I steadied myself.

I pushed slowly and he gagged again, but I held him there this time, pinned between my want and the unyielding headboard.

He struggled to control his gag reflex and catch his breath. His eyes flew open, pleading with me to back off, but I didn’t. At any moment, he could have easily pushed me away, but he didn’t. Instead, he dug his hands into the mattress, trying to push himself backwards away from me. But with the headboard behind him, there was nowhere to go.

It wasn’t until I heard delicious, desperate choking noises gurgling at the back of his throat that I finally pulled out. He sputtered forward, resting his forehead on my thigh as he caught his breath.

Still breathing heavily, he wiped the saliva from his face with the back of his hand and looked up at me with a weak smile.

“Thank you, ma’am. I’m sorry I couldn’t take more, but I liked taking it for you.”

I grinned back at him.

“You did a good job… I liked it too…”

Slowly, I tugged at my cock, still slick with his saliva.

“Are you okay baby…? You’re okay…”

I wasn’t sure if I was asking him or telling him.

He nodded.

“You’re okay,” I repeated, “…and I think you can take a little more for me.”

He didn’t respond and I didn’t care. I was already feeding it back in, fighting the want to pull his hair and fuck his face until the tingle became a rush. Catching myself, I bit my lip and fucked slow, waiting to hear the desperate little noises that meant it was time to back off and start again.


More Erotica…


With parted lips and a hungry mouth, he tasted my wetness and my wanting. I gave only momentary protest before I let him drown between my thighs… [read more]

off balance

He leaned down and his kisses were slower, deeper, and softer. I held onto his waist, wrapped my leg around his, and melted into his mouth… [read more]

against the metal

Leaning over, she whispers, “ready to fuck?” and grinds her pussy hard against his hip. With her thigh, she pushes him over gently and he shifts onto his back under her… [read more]


  42 Responses to “cocksucking”

  1. That is ludicrously hot. And I love the balancing act of reading him to know how much he can take/really pushing to get what you want. I’ve been really fortunate to find a play partner who can (and does) read me well enough to be able to push me to the very edge of what I can handle.

    • @Neo: Thank you for the kind words! I’ll take “ludicrously hot” any day of the week whether it applies to sex, writing, or the subtropical weather. :)

      “balancing act of reading him to know how much he can take/really pushing to get what you want.”

      I love the way the balancing act plays out, too. It’s a struggle sometimes, balancing what he needs, wants, and what he can take, AND balancing all that against what I need and what I want. It’s all a big mind-fuck to me, but that’s a big part of why I enjoy the dynamic (and the play) so much. I’m certainly not always good at it, but when it clicks… it’s really amazing. :)

      “I’ve been really fortunate to find a play partner who can (and does) read me well enough to be able to push me to the very edge of what I can handle”

      You are fortunate! That’s fantastic, Neo! It’s hard to find the right person to play with — someone who knows your edges and knows how to push you right up to that wonderfully blurry line in just the right way. I’m really happy to hear that you’ve found it! :)

      • Yeah, I count myself really lucky to have found such a great play partner. It has made exploring this side of myself so much more fulfilling. I don’t know if it will ever develop into more than play, but a boy can hope. Even if it doesn’t, and even if it ends prematurely, it is still totally worth it. We are, however, talking about making time for a regular, normal-people date.

  2. As I said on twitter, I love this post. I can certainly relate to that desire to just take over. Push it. Violate boundaries. Give in to that out of reach point you know you shouldn’t cross. Push both of you. This post makes me hungry. A man sucking strap-on is just… incredibly hot. It makes me so cock-jealous.

    On a side note – I’m a little confused about the “pony end” of a dildo? Could you elaborate?

    • @Bilikesscifi: Pushing him, blurring his boundaries, and approaching those fuzzy lines where it’s difficult to tell what’s just enough and what’s too far… those are the moments and activities I most enjoy. I’m not sure why I enjoy them, as I’m not a big risk-taker, but I do.

      “A man sucking strap-on is just… incredibly hot”

      I never found the idea exciting or hot until my current boy. And it’s not just a man sucking a strap on, it’s my man sucking my cock that gets me wet — it’s the idea that he’s not sure if he wants it, but he might like it, and more than anything else, he’ll take it because he’s mine and it’s want I want. That? That’s fucking hot.

      “It makes me so cock-jealous.”

      So… go get one. :) I have several, but the “strapless strapons” are my favorites.

      “I’m a little confused about the “pony end” of a dildo? Could you elaborate?”

      I can do better than elaborate… I can illustrate! Through the magic of pixel-pushing, I fixed up a little diagram just for you. :)

      anatomy of a strapless strapon dildo

      • Wow. I learned in art class in school, that drawing is not about portraying every last detail, but rather what you see and want to convey. This is a master piece of work with the word brush. Really fine read, glad I subscribe.
        Came to ask about the strap on, but the answer is already here.
        Thus, I leave without a question but another compliment. You seem to be an amazing mistress, J is very lucky.

  3. I might have something more articulate to say later, but my first reaction is, *damNATION*

    You do have a way with words!

  4. omg…really. Speechless. Almost. ;) Finding and pushing and yet respecting those limits.. .it is sooo hard sometimes! I so agree with your comment about not really finding it sexy…a man sucking a strap on…until it was him and it was mine. I am there. Awesome telling and sharing…thank you so much. (as I go to find him and mine. ;) )

  5. Ludicrously hot is absolutely correct!

    I was wondering out loud last night what percentage of real life F/m play actually takes place in dressing gowns? I must say that a real woman in a bathrobe is a bajillion times hotter than a virtual one in leather or latex.

    • @Peroxide: Dressing gown? Bathrobe? I realize they’re all kinda the same thing, but a dressing gown sounds old fashioned (do old fashioned ladies wear strapons?) and a bathrobe sounds frumpy (too frumpy for a purple cock).

      As for real women in bathrobes being hotter than virtual ones in latex, I guess it depends on the bathrobe and on the woman. :)

  6. Never thought I’d find this hot until I read your experience. Very sexy. Loved reading your internal struggle as well.

  7. Whoa….D….all I can do after this post is agree with everyone else….absolute, total, and ludicrous hotness! I wish I had the money to hire you to write the sex scenes in my book!!!! LOL!

    • Thank you, Cassaundra! I’m glad I was able to share a little of the hotness. :)

      Actually, I’m kinda surprised so many people read the whole thing… it’s awful long for a blog post, but I couldn’t figure out a great place to split it up.

      Anyway, thanks!

      • Honey, we couldn’t STOP reading it! Or, at least, I couldn’t! I honestly wasn’t GOING to read it all the way through, but you sure have a way with words…just sucked me right in and kept me reading to the last word!

        I love your blog! :-D

  8. I can’t even begin to tell you how much I love this.

  9. HOT HOT!!
    sad for him that you didn’t pegg him …

  10. D, I read EVERY single word of every post you write….I’ve even read over all your previous posts, much to the detriment of sleep & 430am wake up calls!!! I love it when I see there is new mail from DD in my mail box in the morning…..you & J are very fortunate indeed, I crave that type of dynamic & hope that I too find one that will push my boundaries & yet adore me in the way you clearly adore J….
    Keep up the beautiful work….b….sincere thanks…love that pony dildo too by the way….

    • @b.r. Thank you so much for the kind words!

      “you & J are very fortunate indeed, I crave that type of dynamic & hope that I too find one that will push my boundaries & yet adore me in the way you clearly adore J….”

      I hope you find it too! Everyone deserves to be loved, hard and often. :)

  11. A very hot cooksucking story, i like it.

  12. Mm-hm, this is the one. (Well, it’s one of the ones. All of them are the ones! But yeah, this is the one.) This is the one I try to forget. It occupies too much head space, burns too many RPMs, and defines too closely what I want and dream for myself. I’m referring to the action (sure!) but more so the dynamic and your approach and everything that went before and all that comes after and GAAAH!

    I’m positively enamored with the way this piece slowly and methodically pulses inward. Yes, there is the tentative pushing of cock-in-mouth, but also your threshold of attention pulses inward—constricting, relaxing a bit, and then constricting tighter in increasingly narrow spaces—from the hot night, to the bedroom, to the bed, to the two of you, to inside your thoughts. The whole thing is like a slow, stuttering, lovely iris-out to a burning point of focus.

    I can’t remember my initial response from way back when, but surely it involved shaking, weeping, and gnashing of teeth. Ha! When I read today, my face flushes, my arms tingle, and my body slumps down lower than you’ve ever seen a body slump. And your loaded “You’re okay” is still my favorite line in erotica.

    Yes, this is the one I keep visiting on your FetLife page instead of on your blog (because I would be too embarrassed for you to see in your analytics how many times I come back for it). Ha! Okay, now I feel thoroughly creepy. Your fault. You make me creepy. :)

  13. Absolutely delicious!!!

  14. that was so hot i so wanted to be J

  15. *swoon*

  16. Beautiful. Well written, economical, great balance of pure hot and touchingly real, plus the detail. God, the detail: the mouth to mouth drink for example. But also, from my entirely selfish pov, again and again your “scene posts” feel like somebody took my fantasy and lived it in reality, which makes me incredibly grateful for the ummm validation of my own mental processing, unlike so much of other femdom erotica.

    • Thanks, MelAa. :)

      The reality (or my reality, at least) isn’t much like what I’ve seen in femdom erotica. I don’t even think I’d be capable of all that… even if I had a basement dungeon, a leather catsuit, and a St. Andrews cross. I’m way more turned on by the intimacy, the trust, and the little ways those connections are made manifest physically. The little things are what get stuck in my head and fuel my fire — the looks, the small sounds, the personal stuff… all that. :)

  17. I’m a bit confused. Does she have a dildo with her, or is she just calling her fingers her “cock?”

    • Does she have a dildo with her, or is she just calling her fingers her “cock?”

      Paragraph 6: “Instead, I retrieved the new dildo I’d bought and rubbed the pony end against my pussy, gathering my own lubrication. Despite it being wider than I’m used to, it slipped in easily. Since I was dripping and it was new, I wasn’t sure how well it would stay in place. I grabbed the light strap-on harness, shimmied it up my thighs, slid the O ring down over the cock, and tightened the straps around my hips.”

      It’s a ‘strapless’ strap on cock. There’s an image of one in the comments on this post (here). You had to scroll past it to leave your comment. :)

      [Boy, nothing sucks the fun out of a sexy recollection like citation. ;)]

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