Jan 292013
damsel in distress

I’ve always been moved by the image of the damsel in distress tied to the railroad tracks. Seemingly helpless, she daintily struggles to escape her bonds and scans the horizon for a hero who might save her before the train comes barreling down the track. The iconic trope is viscerally revolting to me, but not for the evil villain, the violence, or for the possibility of the damsel’s gruesome demise. What repulses me most is the damsel. I don’t understand how she came to find herself in that situation in the first place. It angers me that she doesn’t fight … [read more]

Jan 262013

email to J   Hey, you. :) You with the pretty eyes and the sweet smile and the beautiful arms that make me weak in the knees. You, way over there where I can’t reach you. I miss you. I couldn’t stop thinking of you today. You’re a pleasant distraction, but a distraction nonetheless. There was nothing I could do at work, but as soon as I got home, I tried to get you out of my head. I went upstairs, stripped off all my clothes, and got up on the bed on my knees. I closed my eyes and … [read more]

Jan 242013
consider me

Hey submissives… yeah, you. I’m talking to you. If you’ve started talking to a Dom/me or if you’re “under consideration,” you have some work to do. You can’t just sit around being considered and waiting to be decided on. Consideration works both ways, so while you’re being considered, you need to do some considering too. Consider your potential dominant at least as much as she/he considers you. Consider their experience and judgment, their ability and willingness to facilitate your safety, security, fulfillment, and overall happiness. Consider whether their personality, goals, and values match well with yours. While you’re waiting for … [read more]

Jan 192013
"under consideration"

Like any discourse community, kinky people share a broad set of interests, goals, and values, and a shared language that’s supposed to reflect those things. Except sometimes, it doesn’t. When we hear that “Sue is under consideration by Dan” (or “Dan is considering Sue”) we assume that 1) Sue identifies as submissive, 2) Dan identifies as dominant, 3) Dan (the dominant) is considering Sue (the submissive), and 4) ultimately, Dan will decide whether or not Sue is a suitable partner for some higher level of commitment. The language suggests the dominant considers the submissive during the courtship stage of a … [read more]

Jan 152013
Ask-A-Domme Advice: I'm meeting a dom for the first time, but I'm not allowed to see him

Hi D, I’m a very curious sub female in training. It’s all been online so far, I have yet to meet my Dom male in person… and when I do, I’ve been instructed that I will not be allowed to see him.  I’m a bit nervous about this although we have built up an amazing bond of trust so far. Your thoughts please on the first meeting condition… So, the first time you meet your Dom in person, he will see you, but you aren’t “allowed” to see him? First, and most importantly, the possible logistics give me some concern … [read more]