Nov 132012
 

 SUBMISSIVE
Just so you know, X is one of my hard limits.

DOMINANT
Okay.

SUBMISSIVE
I’d really like to explain why X is one of my hard limits, but I’m not comfortable talking about it.

DOMINANT
You don’t have to explain. It’s not a big deal.

SUBMISSIVE
Ok, ok… I’ll tell you. X is one of my hard limits because I hate it, it scares me, and really, I just hate it.

DOMINANT
It’s okay! :) I‘m glad you told me, and I respect that X is one of your hard limits.

SUBMISSIVE
Good. Because I need you to understand that it’s really, really one of my hard limits.

DOMINANT
I understand.

SUBMISSIVE
Good. I’m so glad!
…but what if I want you to do X to me? ;)

DOMINANT
No.

SUBMISSIVE
Why not? Why won’t you do X to me?

DOMINANT
Because it’s one of your hard limits.

SUBMISSIVE
Pleeeese? Pretty please? Please will you do X to me? ;) *tee hee*

DOMINANT
No.

SUBMISSIVE
Ok, ok! I was just kidding. Actually, I’m really glad you said no. :)

DOMINANT
Ok, good.

SUBMISSIVE
But seriously… will you do X to me?

 

  12 Responses to “a different kind of scene”

  1. Too much communication can spoil the moment…unless they both get off from only talking about it. Could also be a scene in a revised screenplay of “When Harry met Sally”

    • @Dave:

      “Too much communication can spoil the moment…”

      Sure, but a lack of communication can spoil the moment even worse… like when you decide a “surprise figging” is a fantastic idea and your sub ends up grumpy with produce in his ass.

      I’d prefer to err on the side of more communication than less… as long as it’s clear communication (not like the example above).

  2. OMG. This is funny, but oh so very sad too as these things really happen.

    *sigh*

  3. *sigh* So true. In my first (and only) relationship, it was more like:

    Him: I want to try X.
    Me: I’m not comfortable with that.
    Him: -_- I’m so depressed. I can’t do anything right. I’m a loser. Why do you even like me?
    Me: I’m sorry. You’re not any of those things.
    Him: So can we do X now?

  4. All I can think, when I read this scene, is that the submissive really has no idea about the difference between hard limits and soft limits…

    Glad I’m not the only one who’s had this particular conversation!

    xx Dee

  5. I think that is sadly funny because I think he threw it out there thinking the predator part of you would do x just because it was his hard limit. However I have also had my feelings and desires go into “I don’t do X, but I would do it for you”

    Respectfully.
    brattyboi

    • J has some (or lots) of notions about dominant women. Mostly, it’s not his fault. He was formally trained, used, abused, and owned by much more assertive, aggressive women than I. I do believe he appreciates me and is submissive to me (rather than to some construction in his head), but he slips into weird spaces sometimes.

      He’s learning, though. If he’s looking for someone to violate his hard limits, he’s looking in the wrong place. Besides that, if he wants his hard limits violated, then they aren’t really hard limits at all. :)

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