Aug 042012
 

women's pubic hairstyles pop artI had an unexpected opportunity to see the boy. It was short notice and I had to make a quick decision. Shave now or wax later?

I whipped off my pants to take a look at what I was working with. As I suspected, my pubic area looked like a clump of hair that I’d be more comfortable seeing in shower drain than between my legs. I’d have to shave, or trim, or both. Unfortunately, I couldn’t find the clippers and there’s no fucking way I’m going at my crotch with a pair of scissors.

I’d just shave the sides and the mouth-to-pussy contact areas and hope for the best.

I didn’t have time to run the bath, and in the shower, I can’t bend at the correct angle to get at the important parts without leaning over so far that I risk drowning. I managed to do a fairly good job with the dangerous stuff, but I couldn’t get the bikini lines even. I kept taking too much off of one side, trying to even it up, and taking too much off the other side… and then I took some off the top…

When I was done, I got out of the shower and surveyed the damage. It was worse than I thought.

When I saw the boy, I told him about my unfortunate situation.

“I’m not sure why I’m telling you this, but I figured I should warn you before you see it. I didn’t have much time to get ready and I tried to shave really quick, and I couldn’t get it even… and…. um, my pussy has a Hitler mustache.”

“What?”

“My pubic hair. I accidentally shaved it into a Hitler mustache. Maybe it’s more like a Charlie Chaplin mustache? Anyway, I suppose it could have been worse… like a Dali mustache or a Fu Manchu. But… um, yeah. Hitler mustache.”

Totally straight-faced, he responded:

“Well then… Heil Hitler.”

 

  17 Responses to “unfortunate personal grooming”

  1. Too, too funny. I read it aloud to the BF. I would rather have Hitler than Fu Manchu or Dali, really. I mean, those just look silly.

    • @BiLikesSciFi: Ha! I’ll keep that in mind for the next “adventure in shaving”–Hitler is better than Fu Manchu and Dali. But with that said, I do like to experiment… ;) John Travolta-style facial hair, anyone?

  2. I don’t know. The Dali mustache looks kind of cheerful… a smile from your pubes.

  3. Personally, I prefer Fascist genitalia to those those dirty Commies.

  4. A friend recently had a full wax after a long break. To ease the tingling she used some Aloe Vera oil she found in the cupboard at home.. forgetting that the product she bought had added Tea Tree… It’s a dangerous business personal grooming!

  5. You’re never going to believe this, but we’re discussing personal grooming accidents on our blog this week. Mine features a spectacular chemical burn on my vajayjay. Your Hitler mustache trumps mine any day, and was probably A LOT less painful. :) xo

    • @Heather: I believe it (and ouch!). I’ve burned myself too, although my battle scars came via the exposed wires of a poorly made sex toy. Good times. Meh.

  6. I read your second paragraph and thought “there’s no way I’m going at my crotch with clippers!” I know people do, but it’s always freaked me out. I use those teeny “personal care” scissors.

    • @TenGalaxies: “I use those teeny “personal care” scissors.”

      You’re a braver person than I! Teeny scissors have pointy ends and blades just like the big ones!

  7. Classic D. Well written, hilarious, and in the style that keeps me… uh, reading you.

    Michael

  8. Absolutely laughing out loud at this. His response was perfect!

  9. This is hilarious. Back in the day when I first started trimming I used clippers with a grade 2 header, one day in a hurry to get ready for my then date I completely forgot about the attachment, grabbed the clipers and…. suddenly released I had a large bald strip running from the top right of my pubs at a diagonal down towards my cunt…. needless to say it was the beginning of the the complete shave!

    Mollyxxx

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