Aug 222012
 

Here’s a round-up of some of the Qs and As from the past month. Got a question? Ask. (Set up via Google Docs… it’s anonymous, so if you don’t leave your name or email, I have no idea who you are [and can’t respond privately]).


Q: “I haven’t met you, and this is crazy, but I think I love you, so peg me maybe?”

A. You just won the internets! I officially award you Platinum Dragon commenter status for knowledge/mockery of pop culture, creativity, and bonus points for making me laugh! Unfortunately, the answer is “no.” I haven’t met you, and you are crazy, while I like your comment, I wont peg you maybe.

Q:  “why does the underneath of the tongue hurt when you eat pussy”

A:   Obviously, your girl is upside down. Flip her over and your tongue will feel much better. You’re welcome. :)

Q:  “How many piercings do you have?”

A:   17

Q:  “I feel sure I will learn much about Mistress and perhaps you might expand on your techniques for training?”

A:   I’m not your fucking Mistress. But sure, let me “expand” on my techniques! I’ll just write up some personalized wank fodder for you and I’ll send it out as soon as I’m done. Just promise me that you’ll hold your breath until it arrives, okay?

Q. “Just thinking about your posts is making me moist. I would be eternally grateful if you wrote one aimed at me. It would make my day, night, year, life.

A. While I’d love to make your life, I don’t write tailored wank-fodder for readers. Also, I have no idea who you are… you didn’t leave your name. Wait… wait… I probably don’t want to know… right? Did you also want me to peg you maybe?

  11 Responses to “the Qs and the As”

  1. “I’m not your fucking Mistress” would be great on a t-shirt. I’d wear the hell out of that.

    • And now Dumb Domme has its first merchandise possibility: “I’m not your Mistress” shirts!

      Also… aw, you DON’T write on-demand wank fodder? Then why the heck am I reading? ;-)

      • Merchandising… interesting. I think people would wear “I’m not your fucking Mistress” t-shirts. I think I’d have to hide the brand name… nobody wants “Dumb Domme” on them.

        I can’t imagine I’d be very good at on-demand wank fodder. I can randomly yell out body parts if you’d like.

        COCK AND BALLS!

    • You are so right! I’d wear that!

  2. This made my day.

  3. Is this where I post, “we’ve never met but will you pour vodka tonics down a funnel into my mouth while wearing stilettos and a cowboy hat while singing ‘She’ll Be Comin’ Round the Mountain?'” Just teasing! I would NEVER ask that. Not the cowboy hat part at least.

    • @Heather

      WAIT! Which one of us is wearing the cowboy hat and stilettos while the vodka-pouring is happening? You? or me?

      I NEED TO KNOW! :)

  4. To pick up on my earlier post (which you declined to publish), I’m a little cynical as to the authenticity of these comments. I might see it if your blog included pictures/video, but it’s just hard to imagine anyone who would write such drivel also taking the time to actually read ANYTHING, let alone a predominantly test only blog which falls in the “high brow” section of BDSM fare.

    Real or not, they were quite funny (as were your answers).

    Best,

    Jake

    • Jake/Michael,

      “To pick up on my earlier post (which you declined to publish)”

      I didn’t “decline to publish” your previous comment. It was in my spam folder between comments about cheap rolex watches and shoes. (Or maybe I did decline to publish it and I just made that up!) In either case, your comment is there now.

      “I’m a little cynical as to the authenticity of these comments.”

      Ok. Be cynical. :)

      “I might see it if your blog included pictures/video, but it’s just hard to imagine anyone who would write such drivel also taking the time to actually read ANYTHING, let alone a predominantly test only blog”

      I used to have a few photos up, but I’ve since removed most of them. Also, my thinking is that the “random” questions I get are often from people who haven’t taken the time to read much of the blog or from people who don’t realize that what they’ve asked is ridiculous/amusing. If you think the questions/comments are ridiculous, you should see the original punctuation I cleaned up from one of them. It was memorable.

      Thank you for the compliment (despite your cynicism). :)

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