My first blog post was one year ago today. On the occasion of my year anniversary, I give you numbers, words, and the self-centered rambling you’ve come to expect.
106,773 – number of words written (approximately)
249 – number of posts published
52 – number of posts unpublished (drafted, unfinished, and/or possibly abandoned)
6 – number of shoes I’ve broken since I started the blog
2 – number of posts published and later deleted
Word Frequency Cloud (top 150)
I started writing here for the same reason lots of other people write blogs–to learn, to converse, to share, to reveal, to process, and to figure things out. Besides that, I’d like to think I’m funny, clever, interesting, and a fairly good writer, and I enjoy showing off those parts of myself.
A few months in, I realized I had a little bit of an audience and that’s when the attention whore in my kicked into high gear. I like the little bit of attention I get here–I like hearing that posts make people laugh, make them feel better about their own mistakes, and sometimes even made them feel all hot and bothered (ok, maybe just warm and anxious?).
Most of the time, I feel pretty good about what’s here, why it’s here, and what I get out of it.
But sometimes I don’t feel good about those things. At times, it’s made me too self-centered and it’s made me over-think things I shouldn’t worry about or dwell on. I’ve felt overexposed for revealing too much to people I’ve never met and I’ll never really know. I worry about how I present myself and my relationship and question my motivations for approaching certain topics in the way that I do.
I question what I’m doing here, particularly in those moments when I get so wrapped up in being read, understood, and praised–despite the fact I have no real message and no meaningful purpose. Sometimes I write simply because I have something clever to say and I want whatever attention comes from putting it out there into the world. That isn’t always healthy for me.
While there’s very little danger that I’ll stop writing, I have to figure out how to change or get over what I don’t like about writing here.
Wow. I’m a bit of a bummer today, aren’t I?
Okay… fuck all of that. On the whole, I’m happy about what “Dumb Domme” has been over the past year–I’ve figured out some stuff about myself, I’ve learned a lot from other writers and readers, and I’ve “met” a few new people I now consider friends.
So, will you raise a glass with me in celebration of a year’s worth of ramblings, relationship issues, embarrassing moments, and hot sex?
(Vodka tonic, please. As if you had to ask…)