Aug 302012
 

It’s hardly a new experience to see a man come up from going down… and then see him wrestle with an errant hair in his mouth. In my early twenties, watching a man retrieve a pubic hair from his mouth wasn’t uncommon. But that was before the age of ubiquitous Brazilian waxes and enough porn to make us think pubic hair was dirty and gross.

Ashamedly, I’ve fallen prey to the belief that bare-is-better, to the cult of clean-shaven, to the worship of waxing.

Now, I’m almost always bare down there. Although the process isn’t pleasant, I’m typically waxed smooth. When I’m not able (or willing), I’m damn near clean-shaven (with the exception of a pussy Hitler mustache, on occasion).

I had prepared for my date with J the night before, shaving carefully and leaving only a short-buzzed pubic mohawk in my razor’s wake. The next day, after work, I met J for dinner, we had a nice walk along the beach, and then we went back to my place. I wanted to take a shower first. After all, it’s August in the sub-tropics and “hot and sweaty” is a way of life (by “hot and sweaty,” I mean it happens when I go to check the mailbox, not just during sexy fun times).

Because I shaved the night before, it didn’t take long. I showered, dried off, and hopped into bed naked. I wanted his mouth, and he was more than happy to oblige.

But after a little while, he came up with a funny look on his face. I watched him as his tongue worked back and forth inside his mouth… and I got nervous.

Fuck… did I forget to rinse all the soap off? Did I leave a washcloth in there or something?

He finally sat up and put his hand to his mouth. After a few moments, I realized there was a hair in his mouth. That wasn’t a big deal. Even with a close-cropped pube-hawk, hair happens. He secured the offending hair between his fingers and pulled…

And he pulled… and pulled… and pulled…

The hair was over twelve inches long….?

For a split-second, I was horrified at the idea I had a foot-long pubic hair and I was horrified (that apparently,) I had never noticed it before.

After my moment of panic, I realized what had happened.

Sometimes when I shower, a hair from my head falls out (we lose an average of 100 individual hairs per day, you know) and it gets rinsed down my back or my torso and makes a new home on or between my pussy lips. I find a stray hair from time to time, and without fail, I imagine how horrifying it would be if a man had happened to go down on me and happened to locate the errant hair. It’s a strange thought, as I don’t often find homeless head hairs in my pussy (and even less frequently than that do I have the opportunity to be eaten out).

J stared at what he thought was a mutant pubic hair between his fingers.

I stared back at him, wide-eyed, unsure whether to laugh or to explain.

Before I had the chance, he looked at the hair, then looked back at me… and then he figured it out.

“Oh!” he said, almost sighing with relief, “it’s from your head!”

Yes, stupid. It’s from my head.

Of course, I didn’t say that. I couldn’t have said that if I wanted to. I was too busy laughing.

 

 

(Ladies… please tell me this is one of those things that happens to everyone, but no one ever talks about? Please tell me I’m not the only one….?)

  33 Responses to “hair in error”

  1. posted: “hair in error,” in which I have a mutant pubic hair and I hope I’m not the only one…. http://t.co/eGP6RsmB

  2. Hah, I thought I was the only one until you blogged about it :) I must shed more than usual, every time I get out of the shower I have to pluck hairs out of crevices where I’d really rather not have stray hairs.

    • I had hoped I wasn’t the only one, but I wasn’t sure. Glad to hear other women (and men) find ridiculously long hairs in crevices, folds, and cracks… I mean, I’m not like, happy for you, but happy that I’m not a freak (at least, not a freak for this).

  3. I was on a parenting forum once upon a time, and one of the moms actually started a discussion topic about the head hair that winds up in your ass crack when you shower. Ever since she mentioned that, I always check my butt before getting out of the shower because yes, in fact, stray hairs end up there, and in the labial folds. It’s really just a fact of life unless you shave your head.

    If you have pets, their hair winds up there too. Just FYI. So imagine THAT during oral sex.
    “What’s wrong? Why’d you stop?”
    “Uh… cat hair.”
    “But my pussy is shaved…?”
    “…Yeah.”
    “Oh. Uh. Yeah. Let’s go watch a movie.”

    • @Femi: Cat hair? I just LOLed in the office and my workplace isn’t exactly the type of place you’re supposed to LOL in.

      That’s freaking great… :)

      *cough, cough* Ummm, hairball.

    • Femi: If you have pets, their hair winds up there too. Just FYI.

      TIL…eek!

      I try not to have my hair loose so it doesn’t get all over the place, and it still gets all over the place. The hair caught on the toes thing annoys me, too, and I just try to keep the floors really clean.

      D, your pussy posts always make me laugh my head off! :)

  4. Lol, yes it does happen! In fact, My hair would shed and end up in my bed, making my hair sometimes end up in my boyfriend’s (at the time) end up in his crack since we slept naked. It was rather embarrassing.

    • @Naughty Tashamber: I can imagine it would be! Thankfully, I haven’t found any of my strays on him (yet). And this is yet another reason I rarely sleep naked. :)

  5. My head hair straying down to the underwear area does not just happen to me, but to my spouse… just like Naughty Tashamber’s hair would find its way to her ex-boyfriend’s butt! Sometimes when SwingBot finds a stray 2+ foot long hair in his nether regions, I joke that I’m just trying to be extra close to him.

    Finding errant long hairs is just a part of long hair life.

    • @WBW: Close to him… I like that!

      Errant long hairs won’t be a part of my life for a while… I chopped it off very recently. (Donated to Locks of Love). Part of my want to chop if off was for just that reason…

      In general, finding a hair here or there doesn’t bother me, but for some reason, finding a stray hair stuck between my toes makes gag. For that reason, I have the cleanest floors in the city and also, now have shorter hair.

  6. Ever find a hair in your pussy that wasn’t supposed to be there? I have, and so has my boyfriend. Good times… http://t.co/eGP6RsmB

  7. Hahaha. I haven’t had this happen yet. But it might be a bit easier with me since my hair is currently dyed hot pink.

    • @Mistress L: I dyed my hair once and it ended badly. I’ve never tried it again. But I hadn’t imagined it might be an effective strategy against misplaced, errant hairs… I’ll have to consider it again!

  8. I’m glad to see all the comments on this – I kinda thought it was just me. I have to check myself really carefully at the end of every shower ’cause I know if I don’t, I’ll find hair somewhere uncomfortable later. I haven’t had the issue come up during oral sex, but probably only because I almost never get any oral.

    • Unrepentant:

      “I kinda thought it was just me.”

      And now we know we’re not the only ones! Dumb Domme = fighting the isolation of women with hair accidentally stuck in their pussy.

      I should win an award for this stuff!

  9. Hahaha

    I started reading this and all I can think of is how it’s literally a running joke between my boy and I. I have very long, very thick hair and shed almost as bad as my pets.

    There’s been many a morning where my boy has discovered my hair wound so tight around his balls, it’s become the joke that I’ve trained them that way just to torture him with some midnight CBT!

    • @Ms Maggie: “There’s been many a morning where my boy has discovered my hair wound so tight around his balls”

      Yikes! And ow!

      I had something similar happen to me once. A hair had wandered and I actually went to a doctor to get it removed from the tender skin that it had knotted itself around. One single hair can cause so much pain and embarrassment!

      As for training my hair to do evil things… I’ll have to work on that!

  10. It happens to me all the time – very alarming when the hair on your head is pink. :)

  11. watching a man retrieve a pubic hair from his mouth wasn’t uncommon http://t.co/lZXsYazC

  12. I used to have an afro, and the shorter curly head hairs I shed were indistinguishable from my pubes. I constantly had to endure my friends’ chuckling when they found my head hair around my flat.

    I’m not so big on shaving. I don’t shave or trim, and actually find pubes sexier than a bare look. I’ve had people say they don’t want to hook up because I’m not shaved, but I’ve also had plenty who were way turned on by bushiness. Personally I think it’s kinda hot to have to pull a hair out of my mouth. Like I’m that far up in your junk that it’s as if I really were eating you up. Plus, I really don’t like the scratchy feeling that comes when hair starts to grow back. All that upkeep seems too time consuming for me.

  13. watching a man retrieve a pubic hair from his mouth wasn’t uncommon http://t.co/I6MSR7ky

  14. Yes! I never thought to discuss this with anyone until a friend with no sense of TMI brought it up in conversation. I also once found a hair wrapped around my toe, inside my shoe… ouch!

    • @TenGalaxies:

      “a friend with no sense of TMI brought it up in conversation. I also once found a hair wrapped around my toe, inside my shoe… ouch!”

      I love/hate friends who have no sense of TMI! Also, I am probably one of those friends. :) Inside your shoe? Seriously? Ow!

  15. You are not the only one. The same thing has happened to me. Although neither of us thought it was anything else than it was first. ;) Still a bit icky…

    • @Rogue Bambi: It is good to know I’m not the only one. As for realizing what it was, I’m a little slow to come to understanding sometimes! :)

  16. My girlfriends and I refer to it as “the lint trap”. Almost without fail, if I forget to brush my hair right before I wash it, I end up with a few. The worst was trying to be sexy one night with a lace thong in which the contents of the lint trap decided to get caught like it was a fishing net… After that I now check the lint trap thoroughly after every washing.

    • @Cammies: “My girlfriends and I refer to it as “the lint trap”.”

      OMG, I love that! “Lint trap” for the WIN!

  17. No, it happens to everyone.

  18. … It just happened to me. Thank you for preparing me for the experience. They often find their way into my panties, but today it was … right there.

    • Ha! I’m sorry for you, but thankful I could prepare you for the experience. There’s nothing like realizing that one of your short & curlies isn’t so short and isn’t so curly. :)

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