Jul 142012


Anonymous question submitted via the contact form:

“Tease Me sounds submissive. ;) Do you ever fantasize about submitting?”

If I squint really hard and read every third word, I guess I understand how someone might interpret “Tease Me” as submissive. Not that there’s anything wrong with being submissive (I happen to find submissives very attractive…), but I’m not submissive. I’m all for give and take in bed, but I want it on my terms.

So, no, submission doesn’t play a role in my fantasies. Submissives, however, do play a role in my fantasies. :) Sometimes there’s just one sub… sometimes there are two or three… sometimes it’s a girl…. wait, what was I talking about…?

Oh yeah. While I can’t speak from any meaningful experience, the idea of submitting to someone doesn’t turn me on, and more than that, it kinda squicks me out. (A long time ago, before J, a partner tried to tie me up once and he ended up with a black eye.)

  16 Responses to “Q & A: do I ever fantasize about submitting?”

  1. I read, “Tease Me” as a manifesto of a Dom telling her Sub exactly what to do. Not for the Subs pleasure, but merely for the Dom. A vehicle, as you would, for her own satisfaction. However, the entry did arouse more than my intellect. Thank you D for each and every entry.

    • @rga616: “However, the entry did arouse more than my intellect.”

      You make me blush… and make me… you know, that other stuff I told you about. :)

      Run baby run…

  2. I think that some folks just look for anything they can to interpret women as being submissive.

    Frankly, I have been bound and still do not see that as being submissive. There are certain pleasures that one cannot give oneself (the old adage, “You can’t tickle yourself”), like teasing. Being bound increases my chances of being pleased and teased properly, without my interfering it and ruining it for myself, but does not make me suddenly submissive to the person who is providing me the desired pleasures.

    • @WeekBiWeek: “I think that some folks just look for anything they can to interpret women as being submissive.”

      I guess on some level, it might be a similar thing as what I mentioned in my comments on your blog post. (Although I think the question/questioner was well-intentioned and perhaps she/he was teasing. Certainly, it isn’t on the level as some of the crap you mentioned experiencing in your post.)

      “not make me suddenly submissive to the person who is providing me the desired pleasures.”

      I’ve been thinking more about this in the past few days and I agree with you. But, I do wonder what it does to the headspace of a submissive, especially in a more fragile dynamic.

      I believe I’ll be writing more on this in the next couple of days…. I think.

  3. That’s like saying: “I read your post enjoying about delicious pancakes, do you ever fantasize about being a frying pan?”

    • @Peroxide: Wait, are we talking about fantasizing about being a cast iron frying pan or some cheap junk? Eh… I’m not sure that it matters.

      Do I still get pancakes?

      • I’m not sure, but now I’m fantasizing about being assailed with a cast iron frying pan.

        And having pancakes afterwards.

        • Maybe you’d prefer a muffin?

          I’ll make you pancakes afterwards….?

          Fuck. Sorry. That was bad… even for me.

          • That was pretty bad.

            But seriously, beat me with a frying pan and I’ll happily make you crepes with it afterwards.

          • Ok. So you’ll have a muffin, then I’ll make pancakes, then I’ll beat you with the frying pan, and then you’ll make crepes?

            Do you do dishes?

          • Pardon me, I’m a little slow. Was me having a muffin suppose to be a metaphor for going down on you?

            Then what are the pancakes? real pancakes? because those and then crepes, that’s a lot of starch.

            Whatever you decide, I’ll happily do the dishes afterwards.

    • @Peroxide: No, silly. I just really like muffins. Pancakes are all spur-of-the-moment. Muffins require planning, and I think, show more affection.

      I have no problem with excess starch, on occasion. I run. Besides, a good carbo-over-load is fine every now and then.

      You do dishes? Fantastic! I have lots of rubber gloves. :)

  4. Muffins = oral (him to her, obviously).
    Pancakes = butt seks.
    Frying pan = beating with a fish.
    Crepes = a complicated scenario involving farming implements, a donkey and some custard.
    Washing up = enema followed by piss play while standing on one leg singing I’m a little teapot
    Rubber gloves = rubber gloves (duh!)

    I’ll leave you to update the BDSM Lexicon.


  5. Bacon….just sayin.

  6. ROFL… Now I’m just hungry!

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