Jun 122012
 
Presented without context or explanation, a collection of stupid things I’ve said and written over the past couple of months.
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  • Dear Jeff Dunham, if having your hand up someone’s ass makes you a comedian, then I’m fucking hilarious.
  • I want to rip my uterus out and throw it against a wall.
  • It appears I have a perverted squirrel who watches me in the shower.
  • It’s morning, the sun is shining, the birds are chirping. I need coffee, sunglasses, and a shotgun.
  • Make my cookies with extra submission. And chocolate chips. Dominant bitches love chocolate chips.
  • Fuck it. Yes, my vagina makes it way easier for me to make my man a sandwich than the other way around. His cock keeps getting in the way of arranging the lettuce and tomato just right.

 

  10 Responses to “dumb things I’ve said, 5”

  1. Out of everything you said yesterday in that post, this was my favorite:
    "I'm going to drink the booze with the Kool-aid and them I'm going to fuck some submission cookies!"
    I laughed and laughed.

  2. @Femi: That thread was hilarious! Little did I know that Lily (of theBlackLeatherBelt) was making the fuckable cookies!

    I either didn't see you or didn't recognize you in that thread–hit me up next time your on FL. :)

  3. It's morning, the sun is shining, the birds are chirping. I need coffee, sunglasses, and a shotgun.

    HA!, I feel the same way about Jehovah's Witnesses

  4. @slapshot: I don't think I've ever been visited by a Jehovah's Witness… I wonder why? Doesn't my soul need saving?

    Harumph.

  5. I'm JustFemi on Fet. I don't think I posted to that thread, just read it. I mean, you can't fix stupid after all.

  6. No, you can't fix stupid. I tried throwing some logic at it, but I think throwing socks at it might have been more effective.

  7. "Doesn't my soul need saving?

    Perhaps, but I wouldn't let 'em do it. Go over to the dark side… They have cookies!

  8. @slapshot: Yes, I've heard about these cookies. I'm waiting, but as of yet, I've seen no cookies or Jehovah's Witnesses.

  9. How come your dumb things are way more funny and clever than my smart things? Damn you, Dumb Domme:-)

    I especially like the Jeff Dunham one, but I also find puppets and their humans especially annoying.

  10. @DDD: I think it's because I'm running out of smart, so all I have left is funny and clever (which does not always = smart).

    Ah, Jeff Dunham… and his jalapeno on a steek, and the joy of keeping your friends all in one convenient box.

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