Presented without context or explanation, a collection of stupid things I’ve said and written over the past couple of months.
- Dear Jeff Dunham, if having your hand up someone’s ass makes you a comedian, then I’m fucking hilarious.
- I want to rip my uterus out and throw it against a wall.
- It appears I have a perverted squirrel who watches me in the shower.
- It’s morning, the sun is shining, the birds are chirping. I need coffee, sunglasses, and a shotgun.
- Make my cookies with extra submission. And chocolate chips. Dominant bitches love chocolate chips.
- Fuck it. Yes, my vagina makes it way easier for me to make my man a sandwich than the other way around. His cock keeps getting in the way of arranging the lettuce and tomato just right.