I made the mistake of going out after work on Friday to get a drink. I didn’t want to meet people or talk to anyone, I just wanted to sip my drink, read the paper, and relax a little before going home.
Random Guy: [pointing at my forehead] You doing the Ash Wednesday thing?
Me: [confused…] I think it’s Good Friday? Right?… and, um… no. No Ash Wednesday for me.
Random Guy: But you have the thing… the thing on your forehead.
Me: [noticing ink on my fingertips, gesturing to the newspaper in front of me]. Oh… no. That’s probably a smudge from the newsprint.
Random Guy: Oh. So you’re not religious?
Me: No. I’m not religious. I’m just dirty.
Random Guy: Awesome…. can I buy you a drink?
Me: [. . .]