Mar 172012

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I’m not squeamish about the sometimes unpleasant bodily by-products of sex. Good sex is messy, and luckily, I’m washable.

I use gloves when I play with J’s ass, but really, only because it’s easier. When I want to change positions or switch hands, I can pull off the glove inside out, toss it in the wastebasket, throw another back on, and then it’s back to playing. Besides that, J makes sure that he’s cleaned out before we play. (And yes, I still wash my hands thoroughly when we switch from anal play to anything else.)

We played last night. Among other activities, I stretched him out with some plugs, then I alternated between using an Aneros and my hand and drained him dry. After play, we collapsed into a tired heap and fell asleep, so the washable toys were left on the sink to be cleaned in the morning. I got up late, turned the shower on to let the water get hot, and went over to the sink to brush my teeth–I have one of those sonic toothbrushes that sits in a charger on the marble top sink.

When I reached for my toothbrush, I accidentally knocked it over, and it bumped one of the butt plugs left there from the night before. While I didn’t think of it until the toothbrush hit the butt plug, in hindsight, J probably shouldn’t have put the plug that close to anything that might go into my mouth.

I wasn’t sure what part of the toothbrush touched the butt plug, but it was no big deal–I have plenty of replacement toothbrush heads, and the bottom part that holds the battery is washable. I washed the bottom part carefully with antibacterial soap and put on a new brush head.

I got my toothpaste, lifted the brush to my mouth, and froze. While I knew it was clean, I just couldn’t bring myself to do it.

I cannot brush my teeth with anything that’s touched something that’s been in someone’s butt.

I had to throw the whole damned thing away. On second thought, I might have to burn it.

  7 Responses to “of butt plugs and toothbrushes”

  1. I'll admit, I laughed HARD at this post.
    I've gotten some nasty nasty stuff on things that can't be thrown away. Bleach cures all. That's all I'm going to say about that, lol.

  2. Yes, but bleach would never clean away the memory of having used a toothbrush that had fallen onto a butt plug. If I hadn't thrown it away, every day, at least twice a day, I'd brush my teeth and think of that butt plug…

    Bleach doesn't kill that sort of awareness. :)

  3. Dohohoho, bleach makes it okay.
    My story:
    Summer camp, I get told to steal a slotted spoon from the kitchen. Discover they have a coon soaking in water in a cooking pan. They fish out the racoon bones, dump the meat jello water, and it becomes my job to sneak the stuff back into the kitchen. Yes, bleach and sanitizing solution cures all sins.
    (Yes, I worked at a backwoods well known summer camp)

  4. Jake, um, forget about the bleach.

    Why on earth did "they" have a raccoon soaking? Why did someone fish out the bones? What did they do with them? WTF kinda summer camp, backwoods or otherwise, did you go to? You poor thing.

    Wait, forget all of that. I don't want to know.

  5. Uh, they wanted a racoon skeleton, fished the bones out (I did it) because we needed the pan to cook dinner with. I don't know, probably torture the kiddies. Hey now, I loved that summer camp. Not being mean or anything, but I'd bet serious money that someone you know's child has attended that camp, lol.

  6. Very funny. This reminds me of waking up one Sunday morning after a pretty raucous Saturday night and finding a big string of anal beads drying on the bathroom counter with the toothbrushes. It made me laugh out loud. I thought, "Well, that's how you know it's been a helluva' weekend!"

  7. That is the sign of having had a really great weekend!

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