Mar 272012

In what I want, I discussed a few non-sexual skills and abilities I’d like in my ideal partner.

After a comment-convo with the always-brilliant Ferns, I want to make a few clarifications about that post. After all, next to embarrassment, my second biggest fear is being misinterpreted.

  • “What I want” is not a list of what attracts me to a man–it’s what I want in a partner. Of course, what attracts me first is good looks, a sense of humor, and intelligence (both the ability to think and being well-read). If a man doesn’t have any of those, it’s not likely I’ll ever get to know him well-enough to learn whether or not he has any of the other skills and abilities I’d like in a partner.
  • It’s not a “must have” list either–it’s a list of preferences.
  • I don’t really intend for any of this to be advice (I’m the last person qualified to give advice), but simply another perspective to add to the heap of perspectives offered by dominant women.

Now that I’ve over-explained about what I am looking for, it seems fair to also mention a few things I’m not looking for.

While these skills and abilities seem to be popular among some dominant women, they aren’t things I look for or value in a potential partner. I’m speaking for myself here, of course, which I hope supports the reality of dominant women (and people in general)–we’re all different.


Cooking: I’m a whiz in the kitchen and I won’t let anyone else touch my grill. I appreciate good food and enjoy learning how to make it well. I grow some of my own vegetables and pick up boxes of veggies weekly from the farm cooperative. I know my butcher by name, dry age my own steaks, and I’m building my own smoker. Unless you’re a better cook than me, stay the fuck out of my kitchen.

Manicure/Pedicure Skills: I prefer doing my own manicures and pedicures. Don’t bother learning how to paint my toenails–learn how to paint walls instead.

Laundry: I don’t want anyone touching my panties without permission–whether or not they’re on my body at the time. I’ll do my own, thanks. With that said, I expect a man to know how to do his own laundry.

Feminine Aesthetic Skills(?): I don’t want a man who knows how to put on makeup or wear women’s clothing. I’m not into feminization and I’d prefer to put on my own makeup.

Tea Service/Table Setting: I don’t drink tea and I can set my own damn table. I’m not into most protocol stuff or servant-like service. However, the ability to open a beer without a bottle opener might be useful.

I guess I’m into a lot of traditional gender role behaviors. I’ll do the cooking, you do the dishes… and then I’ll drag you to the bedroom, tie you down, beat you, and fuck your brains out, mhmm-kay?  :)

  6 Responses to “do not want”

  1. I think you were perfectly clear in your previous, I was just elbowing in and shouting irrelevantly about cats (or something…!).

    Fucking cats!!

    Yeah, like that. I must stop doing that!


  2. fucking cats. FUCKING CATS!

    You have nice elbows, by the way. :)

  3. A Domme does not fuck their clients.

  4. @Teresa: There appears to be some confusion here. I am not a professional dominatrix (or pro-Domme, or PRO-DOMME, or PrO-DoMmE, or whatever-the-fuck capitalization is preferred).

    I don't have clients. I have a boy… a sub? a boyfriend? a man partner?

    And I really really really like fucking him, so I'm going to keep doing that. Okay?

  5. *laugh* Oh.

    And here I was thinking that *I* was the one randomly wandering off topic and talking about fucking cats.

    I tip my hat to you, Teresa Bowers, I tip my hat!


  6. @Ferns: A Domme does not fuck cats.

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