Mar 112012
 

For your amusement (and for your information)…
I present the fifteenth installment in Dumb Domme’s BDSM Lexicon, “queening.”

View all past entries here.


queening, n., [kwee-ning] (spelled)   /ˈkwinɪŋ/ (IPA)

Definition:

queening facesitting femdomqueening, n.: in D/s contexts, queening is a sexual practice in which a female sits on her partner’s face to receive oral-genital and/or oral-anal stimulation.

Usage:

“I didn’t say I was cleaning my partner… I said I was queening my partner. Also, why the fuck would I clean my partner?That makes no fucking sense…”

“I’ve considered queening J while I work on my laptop, but his face isn’t exactly ergonomic. I’m considering one of those balance ball chairs or maybe a standing desk instead.”

Extended Explanation:

Couples may engage in queening for one or a combination of the following purposes 1) for her sexual satisfaction, 2) for the sexual satisfaction of both partners, 3) for demonstrating dominance over the submissive partner, and/or 4) for humiliating the submissive.

Generally, queening provides the bottom access to orally stimulate the top’s genitals and/or anus. Queening positions are various, and include kneeling or squatting over the bottoms face in either direction, with the top’s knees or feet on either side of the bottom’s head, or physically sitting on the bottoms face in either direction, with legs extended above the bottoms head or resting on the bottoms torso.

Variations:

rodzo_0007There are varying opinions about the differences between facesitting and queening.

Some suggest that facesitting is “more vanilla” and can be practiced without D/s overtones, where the intention is for sexual stimulation alone — not for the demonstration of dominance. Other sources suggest queening is “more D/s” than vanilla, and can be practiced with the top fully clothed, simply for the purposes of dominating or humiliating the bottom.

Smothering seems to be more about depriving the bottom of air and/or controlling the bottom’s breath than about sexual stimulation of the top (although depriving a submissive of air can be pretty fucking hot).

Heated discussions about the distinctions between facesitting, queening, and smothering amongst know-it-all Dommes in online forums are kinda funny to read. Really ladies… is this what you want to spend your time arguing about?

With that said, as long as you talk with your partner first, the terminology is unimportant. Discuss what you mean and what your partner means when then you talk about queening, facesitting, or smothering. Otherwise, there could be confusion. Subs, you could end up deprived of air and passed out under some Domme’s pink parts. Dommes, you could end up breaking an ankle trying to run in five inch stiletto heels to fetch smelling salts for your unconscious sub.

What’s in it for Bottoms/Tops?:

Bottoms: Bottoms can’t say why they enjoy queening because their faces are covered with Domme-ass and their mouths are full of pussy. If they could talk, bottoms might say they enjoy the darkness, the pressure and weight, and the textures and scents of a woman’s genitals, combined with feelings of being controlled, used, and put into a position of submission by their dominants.

Tops: Tops like queening because their submissives’ mouths are full of pussy, (yay!) and thus, their subs cannot speak (okay, sure, yay!). Sometimes a dominant just needs a quiet moment and the only way to shut up a chatty sub is to find other ways to keep her sub’s mouth occupied. Besides that, tops may enjoy being able to control where their submissives’ tongues and lips touch them and the feeling of dominance that comes from literally sitting on someone’s face.

Fun Physiology Fact: According to Wikipedia, and really, according to common sense, a seated position allows a woman’s pelvic floor muscles and various sphincter muscles to relax, allowing her different and/or increased sensation during oral stimulation.

Associated Furniture:

Queening stools (chairs, benches, thrones), smotherboxes, and variants are often used by those who have the money to buy them, the patience to build them, and willingness to have them in their homes (or dungeons, whatever). Smotherboxes differ from queening stools in that they restrict more of the submissive’s movement, access to light and air, and often “lock” around the submissive’s head and/or neck.

queeningfurniture

1) cypress queening stool, by twolaneblacktop1320 2) queening bench, by Skary Dungeon Furniture, 3) queening stool model 4, Fantasy Leather

History and Origins:

There’s some info out there that suggests a bunch of years ago, women in higher socio-economic classes used male servants and slaves as on-demand oral service providers, using them as fuck-toys who either brought them to orgasm or faced harsh punishments.

I dunno. It seems likely that at some point in history, a woman sat on a dude’s face, and that woman happened to be a queen, and so “queening” was named. It’s not like she was the first chick to ever sit on a man’s face…

Does Dumb Domme?:

Sure. I’ve “face sat,” I guess (the term seems so formal!), but I’ve never sat on someone’s face simply out of a show of dominance. I mean, if my pussy is there, and your face is right there, you might as well put your mouth to good use. It would seem like a waste to for me to just sit there for the sake of sitting. Besides, faces aren’t comfortable to sit on. I prefer chairs. If I’m sitting on you, you better be trying to get me off.

If you’ll excuse me, I have to go take a seat…


works consulted: “Facesitting, Smothering, Queening  Wikipedia: “facesitting•  Topix: “History of Facesitting•  History of Facesitting

  12 Responses to “BDSM Lexicon Entry #15: Queening”

  1. Hello submissive male from nj seeking older dominant female to use my face as she pleases

  2. @lostowl: Thank you. My guess is that you’re not in the population that’s okay with pincushion faces and doorstop cocks, right? :)

  3. I adore queening and. Pussy worship and i enjoy it more than the girls do is that weirf?

    • @Subforbbw: No, it’s not weird, and who cares if it is? If you’re happy, and your partner is happy, that’s all that matters.

  4. lmao @ if you will excuse me I have to go take a seat

    “Otherwise, there could be confusion. Subs, you could end up deprived of air and passed out under some Domme’s pink parts.”

    What a nice way to pass out!!

    “If they could talk, bottoms might say they enjoy the darkness, the pressure and weight, and the textures and scents of a woman’s genitals, combined with feelings of being controlled, used, and put into a position of submission by their dominants.”

    Yes that is how I would describe it except for the fact also a big part of it to me would be the sheer joy of pleasuring her.

    • What a nice way to pass out!!

      I guess so, but I’ve always sort of enjoyed regular access to air. :)

  5. The following is an excerpt from a yahoo group that, for the most part, perfectly depicts exactly to the type of man I am and the kind of relationship, I seek.

    Her name is Mistress Barbara, and this is her message to an inquiring sub that wrote to her about how his wife and him having a similar lifestyle. Some parts may be a hard read, but if you get past that to her message, you will understand her point. And for those who really enjoy this, and would like to get to know me, please add me YM under this name and say hi and where you got my info from.

    Dear jt

    A very nice reply of yours. Very thoughtful and inspiring. Basically I can relate very well to what your wife is feeling and how she is progressing. My sexual development was quite similar, jt. I was not born a dominatrix and I never want to be one, at least not following the usual image that goes along with it, i.e. the leather clad whip yielding, man hating dominatrix, with spikes and thigh high boots…

    […]

  6. I you what, You did a hell of a job explain this. You broke it down Sesame Street. Thank you very much. Great teacher!!! Lemme know if yo come thru Akron Ohio so you can explain the few things that I have never heard of or am curious about. wink wink.Thank you again for the effort and time you put in to let Ignorant Kinky people learn correctly.
    You have a great day, Thx again.
    Robbie

  7. You left out one reason for engaging in it: For his sexual stimulation.

    It was my favorite thing to do even before D/S.

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