Mar 012012
 

For your amusement (and for your information), I present the fourteenth installment in Dumb Domme’s BDSM Lexicon, “cuckold.”

View all past entries here.


cuckold, n., v., /ˈkʌkəld/ (IPA)   [kuhk-uhld] (spelled) 

Basic Definition:

cuckold, n.: The husband of an unfaithful wife, or the boyfriend/partner of an unfaithful girlfriend/partner.

cuckold, v.: To make a cuckold of by being an unfaithful wife/partner.

Extended Definition:

In more modern usage, particularly among practitioners of BDSM and cuckold fetishists, a cuckold is often a submissive male who 1) may be unable to sexually satisfy his female partner, 2) may take vicarious pleasure watching his partner gain sexual satisfaction with another man, and/or 3) may enjoy the sexual humiliation involved in watching his partner being fucked by another man.

Usage:

“I’m not really into cuckolding, but if you want to pretend you’re my boyfriend while you watch me fuck my real boyfriend, that’s cool with me.”

“My boyfriend caught me fucking his best friend. I told my him that I thought he was interested in cuckolding, and so I took the initiative and found myself a bull. He didn’t buy it. I didn’t think he believe me, but it was worth a shot.”

Associated Terms: 

hotwife: A married or partnered woman who has sex with other men, generally with the husband’s knowledge and/or consent.

bull: The male who has sex with a married woman

cuckquean: the female equivalent of a male cuckold

Etymology & Origins:

“the mother of all cheaters”

Since there is a clear etymology here, I guess I should be serious. Cuckold derives from the French word for cuckoo, coucou with the suffix -old. Female cuckoo birds will lay their eggs in warblers nests, and since cuckoo chicks and warbler chicks look similar, male warblers can never be sure that the chicks they are raising are biologically theirs (or even the same species). I can’t imagine male warblers really care. It’s not like they sit around wondering if their chicks are really theirs. I think we can safely assume that warblers don’t give a flying fuck. Flying fuck… get it? Birds? Flying? Flying fuck? No? Not that funny, huh.

Animal Planet named the cuckoo bird as the #1 animal cheater. (People actually get paid for writing this shit? Seriously?)

Does Dumb Domme?:

Negative. I’m not into cuckolding. However, there are some aspects of it that appeal to me, at least in fantasy. I’m absolutely turned on by measured jealousy, and so the idea of having my partner watch me fuck another man to the point it drives him into a jealous rage is hot! And in my fantasy, of course, my partner tries to kick the other guy’s ass, and that turns into them fighting over me, and while they’re both naked and grappling on the floor, they both suddenly realize their latent bisexual urges, and so of course they start to fuck, and I watch, and then I join in…

Wait, what was I talking about? Oh, yeah. So, the idea of driving a man into a jealous rage is hot, but the idea of humiliating someone I love doesn’t turn me on. Besides that, I don’t think I’d ever be attracted to anyone who wanted to be a cuckold, so it’s not on my list of things to do.


works consulted: Oxford English Dictionary Wikipedia: “cuckold Animal Planet: “Top 10 Animal Cheats Urban Dictionary

  3 Responses to “BDSM Lexicon Entry #14: Cuckold”

  1. they’re both naked and grappling on the floor, they both suddenly realize their latent bisexual urges, and so of course they start to fuck

    YES! Yes, please!
    ahahaha I love the “latent bisexual urges”.

  2. I couldn’t wait to read what you had to say about this one. Then I got a wee bit disappointed. And then biiiiiingo, the “latent bisexual urges” appeared even if tongue in cheek (ummmm, yes, I’ll leave it here).

    A few thoughts. The “latent (or torturously repressed) bisexual urges seem to be a huge factor in many cuckoldry fantasies. It might be my biased point of view because my lifelong penchant for bi guys was a gateway drug to conscious interests in kink. But I find that version of the whole thing hot. Conversly the one when ‘he’s not able to satisfy her’ so she is compelled to find a better man (and “better” is INVARIABLY defined in physical sense, I wonder why the “better man” is never a better sub for example…) does nothing for me.

    Also, have you noticed how many cuckoldry scenarios and fantasies presented as femdom-y are actually not? In the sense that the resulting FMM scenario often has the “bull” topping both the cuckold and the woman.

  3. And then biiiiiingo, the “latent bisexual urges” appeared even if tongue in cheek (ummmm, yes, I’ll leave it here). A few thoughts. The “latent (or torturously repressed) bisexual urges seem to be a huge factor in many cuckoldry fantasies.

    I wonder how much of cuckoldry is about it being a “safe” way for men to explore their interest in other men? If a man’s female partner is forcing him to have sexual contact with another man, then it’s not really that he wanted it… and then he doesn’t have to admit to what seems like non-normative or stereotypically non-masculine sexual attractions.

    have you noticed how many cuckoldry scenarios and fantasies presented as femdom-y are actually not? In the sense that the resulting FMM scenario often has the “bull” topping both the cuckold and the woman

    I know, right? It’s about a man’s domination of another man and a woman… and that woman just happens to be in leather and domme-heels. Meh. To each her own, but I wish everyone could call it what it really is — that would help people get a better grasp on articulating their fantasies to partners.

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