Feb 202012
 

One of the dildos I bought a couple of months ago came with a “bullet vibe”–a little silver vibrator that you can stick in the dildo for extra stimulation.

While I’ve never used the bullet vibe with the dildo, I’ve found plenty of other situations where it’s come in handy. It has a surprising amount of power for something so small. It’s about the length of my thumb, and so it’s discreet enough to carry in my laptop bag. I don’t typically carry a purse, so whatever personal items I carry with me get stashed in my laptop bag along with my work stuff. It’s not really a big deal, as my laptop bag has plenty of small interior pockets to hold personal items like a cell phone, a lipstick and powder, chewing gum, and occasionally, a small vibe for possible date nights after work… You know, stuff like that.  :)

Unfortunately, my bullet vibe went missing a couple of weeks ago. I didn’t spend too much time looking for it, as my best guess was that I accidentally took it out when I cleaned out my laptop bag. Cleaning out my bag generally involves setting aside my “must have” items and dumping the rest of the clutter into an empty drawer to go through later (or never). When I couldn’t find the vibe, I assumed I had accidentally dumped it in a drawer with my old pens, extra business cards, broken hair clips, and other junk that tends to clutter up my bag.

Fast forward to this morning.

I gave a presentation to some potential clients that included a narrative about our company, several selling points about our services, and mock-ups of designs for product marketing materials. As usual, I hooked up my laptop and delivered my presentation with a couple of visual aids on Power Point style slides projected onto a screen at the front of the room.

I wanted to draw attention to a particularly effective aspect of the marketing materials presented on one of the slides. I reached into my bag and pulled out my little keychain laser pointer.

Only it wasn’t my laser pointer.

When I tried to push the button to turn the laser pointer on, something felt wrong. In what felt like slow motion, I looked down into my own hand and saw my bullet vibe.

Thank goodness I didn’t manage to turn it on!

After a moment of absolute shock and horror, I closed my hand around it and slipped it back into the bag as nonchalantly as I could. I hope the clients didn’t notice that I accidentally pulled out a vibrator in the middle of my sales pitch…

  2 Responses to “bullet vibe or laser pointer”

  1. Pretty hilarious! Would make for a good practical joke on a colleague. Hope the pitch went well in the end.

  2. @DC: "Hope the pitch went well in the end."

    Ending a sales pitch with a vibrator should win them over. :)

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