Jan 302012

A couple of weeks ago, I asked J to come up with a few punishments we could use to help reinforce the rules. Weeks have passed, and since my request, J assured me that he was giving it some thought, but still, he hasn’t come up with anything.

I asked him to do it because I had trouble coming up with something I liked. Since he neglected to get back to me, or was unable to suggest anything, I’ve been trying to come up with something myself. Here are few categories and ideas I’ve ruled out:

Pain: J is a masochist, so a painful punishment wouldn’t really be a punishment at all.

Errands or chores: I like the idea of assigning an errand or meaningful chore because something productive comes out of it–it would help me in some way. However, he’s said that he wants to do these sorts of things for me, that he enjoys being helpful. Again, if he enjoys it, it isn’t a punishment. Even if he didn’t enjoy it, he’s supposed to be helpful and attentive anyway.

Meaningless or repetitive tasks: While I could make him hand write “I will not disappoint my Mistress” a thousand times, it’s unproductive, does me no good, and wastes time he could be doing something meaningful.

Humiliation: I’m not into publicly humiliating people, especially not someone I care about. When we’re out, I enjoy demonstrating some ownership, but in small ways–a whispered demand for a kiss, a little twisting or tugging on his cock under the table, pulling him close by the belt-loops… all things that might be mildly embarrassing if noticed, but certainly not humiliating.

So here’s my idea (my only idea): karaoke. (Stop laughing. I’m not kidding.)

Our taste in music overlaps in places, but I have to say that J is a little bit of a snob about all-in-good-fun pop music. I enjoy the occasional pop tune, particularly driving on warm nights with the windows rolled down and the top dropped (and I’m forced, as the music system in my car won’t recognize my mp3 player for some reason–so it’s radio for me, either pop music or NPR).

J doesn’t like pop music, and wouldn’t be caught dead listening to it, let alone singing it in public. So, I imagine he’d be genuinely annoyed and embarrassed by having to sing karaoke to some silly pop song. He’d hate it, which means it’s a punishment, and I like seeing him squirm, so I’ll enjoy it.

Plus, I enjoy singing in public (generally with an actual band) and I think karaoke is fun, so it might be a fun date night, which satisfies my want to make his punishment something productive.

Besides all that, J has never heard me sing. If he does, he fall madly in love with me… I’m sure of it.

For now I need to come up with a list of 3 or 4 karaoke-friendly songs that seem earnest enough (he has to take it seriously), but silly enough choices so that I’m adequately amused.

Any thoughts?

  11 Responses to “on punishments”

  1. Honestly, karaoke sounds kind of fun, but two key problems with it are:
    – you cannot readily scale it up and down for greater or lesser transgressions.
    – you cannot implement it quickly and easily sometimes.

    I think you should continue to look at errands and chores, but look at ones that he would not enjoy, however much he likes to help you. Does he like washing dishes, but hate washing windows? Is he okay with vacuuming the house, but not car interiors? Does he dislike buying feminine hygiene products at the store? You can get something useful out of it while still giving him a punishment. If his enjoyment of helping you in that fashion outweighs the tedium, then find another task instead.

    To separate it from normal attentiveness/helpfulness, make sure it gets started and ended with a reminder that it is a punishment, and don't show appreciation for his work when he's done (like I assume you would do when he is being helpful). And don't make it a task that you might otherwise give him just to be helpful.

    Just my suggestions, take or discard as you will.

  2. Mack The Knife, Hotel California, Its The End Of The World (As We Know It), Moves Like Jagger. If you wanted, you could also have him sing Frank Sinatra's My Way, but instead have him sing "I did it her way" ;-)

  3. I am sooooooo not laughing. I think it is a wonderfully horrible punishment. And I hope NEVER to endure it. As far as I'm concerned, it doesn't matter what song it is. The only thing that could be worse is if you made him come up with dance moves to go with the song.

  4. hehehe…. dance moves? that's a brilliant idea!! what about Los Del Rio with La Macarena then? (just jumped into my mind, when i read DDD's comment)
    and just as a side thought, being a masochist myself, there is still a hell lot of pain i don't find a turn on at all. unless he is a huge exception, there are for sure some toys or kinds of pain, he definitely wouldn't enjoy. having said that, if pain as punishment is a good idea seems to be a point, where opinions are parted.

    just my two cents

  5. Hee! Best punishment evar!

    My boyfriend's reaction, on my telling him the gist of your post: (deeply disturbed look and a long pause) "…that's just mean!"

    This from the boy who will only sing gay bar when we play rockband. I just don't understand him.

    Come to think of it, gay bar might be a good punishment song. Also anything by weird al, if there's such a thing as weird al kareoke.

  6. @WBW: It's difficult to use chores, even if I found one he really hated, because we don't live together. Perhaps that might work for us if we had more time, but I need to find something that he can do without taking away from our time together, or something that we can do that I'll enjoy and he'll hate. :)

    @Anon: Hotel California sounds great… he needs to be serious about it, and that's a song I could see someone trying to do seriously (as seriously as karaoke allows.

    @DDD: Hmmm… dance moves. You're evil. :)

  7. @M: I'm not sure I know what pain turns him on and what pain is just a pain. Maybe I'll try a hundred papercuts and lemon juice. :)

    @Stabbity: Of course it's mean. It could be worse though… come to think of it, Rock Band may be a good punishment too. :)

  8. dancing queen is always a classic. Sweet Adaline is one everyone in the bar will enjoy but which means he will hate it more…

  9. Karaoke would be a wonderful form to publicly humiliate him and still keep your relationship private. ABBA's "Dancing Queen" is priceless (just think of the closing scene of Mama Mia with the male leads in drag(?)

    I have to think that you would want some sort of seranade, because after all…it is about you! "My Girl" by the Temptations is such a song that requires a wonderful voice…if he can't carry a note, he'll just continue to degrade with embarassment (especially if he gets heckled, too). Roy Orbison's "Pretty Woman" will require him to let loose and profess his desire.

    Just my 2 cents too

  10. You could also simply play the style of music he dislikes and increase volume and duration as needed per transgression… there are several karaoke games for various consoles, also… 3 words: dance dance revolution… possibly with various handicaps or amusing props, perhaps take pictures or videos of the event, though not necessarily to share. The music idea is pretty devious though.

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