How dare you write to me in italics! You worm!
I swear I’ll kick your serifs until they’re perfectly perpendicular to your stem and I’ll adjust your main stroke until it’s well below my mean line. If you ever write to me again, make damn sure your tittles are aligned. I think my base line is clear–I won’t tolerate overshoot.
While we’re at it, if I ever find out that you’ve adjusted your own kerning without asking my permission, there will be serious consequences. I’ll hit your num-lock hard and you’ll be useless except for your digits. Maybe then you’ll understand the full ramifications of your typeface.
One last thing, you filthy fontslut…. if you ever use Comic Sans, this whole thing is over.
Comic Sans = hard limit.
Don’t contact me again until you’ve learned your lesson.