Jan 312012
hood (inhuman)

Naked on white linens, legs folded and crossed, your hands rest relaxed, hanging limp over your knees. Your head bows too low for meditation. You’d look relaxed if not for the sometimes-twitching of the fine muscles in your neck. Despite the broad expanse of shoulders, you are childlike. You look small… somehow. When I am behind you this way, I wish that I were longer, stronger. I’d wrap my arms around you and crush you into me. I can’t, but not for lack of wanting. Instead, I allow my fingertips to graze the smooth planes of your neck, barely touching, … [read more]

Jan 302012
on punishments

A couple of weeks ago, I asked J to come up with a few punishments we could use to help reinforce the rules. Weeks have passed, and since my request, J assured me that he was giving it some thought, but still, he hasn’t come up with anything. I asked him to do it because I had trouble coming up with something I liked. Since he neglected to get back to me, or was unable to suggest anything, I’ve been trying to come up with something myself. Here are few categories and ideas I’ve ruled out: Pain: J is a … [read more]

Jan 292012
BDSM Lexicon Entry #12: Ball-busting

ball-busting, n.: A form of CBT (cock and ball torture) where a man’s testicles are forcefully kicked, kneed, or otherwise struck.

When he saw that she brought a meat tenderizer, a croquet mallet, and steel-toed boots, he realized two ibuprofen might not be enough to help him recover from the ball-busting.” … [read more]

Jan 272012

I’ve received so many sweet notes and thoughtful messages lately… my email inbox is so cheery and bright! Heck, even the “I don’t know you, but I’d be happy to lick your boots” messages and the “you just need the guidance of a good strong Dom” messages have been generally kind-hearted. Thank you. :) A quick update… Things with J are okay… not as great as they were before, but okay. There was some apologizing and mutual forgiveness after the incident (perhaps I’ll explain another day) and we’re moving past it (working through it?) For the record, the short-lived “break … [read more]

Jan 252012

I was wrong. I called it in sadness and anger, in immaturity, and in an overabundance of emotion. Catharsis? Perhaps I experienced it, but I’m sorry that you had to play a part. I’m sorry that I had to manage those feelings at your expense. Some part of me wishes you understood this was characteristic of me — passionate, instinctive, and explosive (don’t you know me?). Although my history doesn’t excuse my actions, I hope it goes some distance to explain them. I was hurt you wouldn’t take my side in a matter I so clearly owned, embodied, lived. Your want for … [read more]