A question I’ve received from a few readers–I thought it deserved an explanation.
Q: Does J read the blog?
A: No. J doesn’t even know about the blog.
I have a couple of reasons for keeping J in the dark. In no particular order…
1. If I knew J was reading, I couldn’t be myself. I don’t want to hesitate in posting something because I’m afraid of hurting his feelings or inflating his ego. I don’t want to alter my language, leave out details, or embellish things (even little things) because he reads. This isn’t about him–it’s about me. To keep it that way, he can’t be a reader.
2. There’s already a lot on here that I don’t want him to know. I don’t hide my emotions well–not in face-to-face conversations and not in my writing. I’d like to keep some of my thoughts and embarrassing experiences to myself (um, if you ignore the fact that I’m posting it all on a public blog).
3. I can’t tell him about the blog because I wouldn’t trust him not to read it. I think it’s too much temptation to tell someone something like this exists and then make them promise not to read it. It seems unnecessarily cruel, doesn’t it? Even if I did trust him not to read, it’s a little too much to ask of anyone.
4. I’m overwhelming–I’m in my head too much and I tend to write everything out. Being on the receiving end of my writing can be a bit overwhelming, and that isn’t what I want. It’s not his (or anyone else’s) job to be a sounding board as I figure out what I’m doing. You (whoever you are) are reading this because you want to, not because you have to or because you feel obligated.