Sep 292011

Long story short… I accidentally tied myself to the doorknob.   Today, I wanted to practice lacing my new corset in the hopes I could wear it for playtime this weekend. When I took it out, I realized the stupid sales girl forgot to put the directions in the bag. No big deal, I thought, it’s just some leather and laces–how difficult could it be? Now I know. It’s fucking difficult. After my first attempt, I ended up with one of the laces hanging so loose I could have tripped on it, and the other lace wrapped around my shoulder. … [read more]

Sep 282011
Trojan Vibrations

I’m not at all offended by the existence of the “Trojan Vibrations” vibrator commercials. I am offended by how fucking bad they are. Way to go, Trojan, for attempting to normalize female sexual pleasure with ridiculous images of women with stiff hair, giddy expressions, overcome with their own feelings of, OMG, pleasure! I know–they’re just selling their products, but still, Trojan = Fail. If that weren’t bad enough, apparently this summer, Trojan rolled out it’s new “Good Vibrations” van on the streets of New York City. I don’t mean to sound overly cautious, but I don’t think it’s a good … [read more]

Sep 262011

He lies with his head in my lap, on the margin of sleep, warm and soft and relaxed. I watch him there, tracing his features with my fingertips, studying his face, running my hands through his hair. It feels as if learning the slopes and angles of his profile might give me some insight as to what’s behind them. I let my fingers glide across his forehead and temples, curl around his ears, and down his perfect cheekbones. My fingertips trail over his lips and they part, almost automatically. My index finger dips between his lips and he sucks softly, … [read more]

Sep 252011

Looking back (years ago), I now realize that blow jobs are not an appropriate way to make friends. In my younger years, I’m fairly sure I thought blow jobs were equivalent to handshakes. Surely if you [shook someone’s hand/sucked them off], you were friends, right? Right? I’m not sure whether it was because I was lonely, socially inept, or just horny–probably a combination of all three. I particularly remember one boy who told me that I was “talented.” I replied, “If by talented you mean I have low self-esteem, then yes, I’m very talented.” . blow jobs/handshakes was last modified: … [read more]

Sep 242011

After reading all of the warnings on Fetlife about the poor quality of gear and fetish-wear at online retailers, I drove an hour and a half to go corset-shopping at a well-recommended brick-and-mortar boutique… After fastening the corset’s busk, the sales girl did some sort of cartoon-quick arm movements behind me to take the slack from the laces. She walked around me twice, surveying the fit and making unintelligible, disapproving noises, looking me over from every angle as if I were a purebred at a dog show. Honestly, I was waiting to see if she would try to cup my … [read more]